Page 42 of His to Cherish

Steam billowed from both mugs as she slid one in front of me.

She blew over the rim of hers, but set it down without taking a sip.

“I’m worried about Shane.” I stated the fact, the reason I was here, and felt something like a lead weight settle deep inside my stomach.

Beth licked her upper lip and looked down at the coffee. “Yes?”

My bottom lip found its way back between my teeth as I tried to remember the speech I’d practiced on the way over. So much I wanted to tell her, yet suddenly uncertainty and doubt crept in and left me floundering for the truth.

Tossing out the well-rehearsed, well-outlined points I’d made in my head, I lifted my eyes to Beth’s only to see fear and stress lining her eyes.

She was not unaware of the problems.

Somehow, that comforted me. She was a mom who knew her boy was struggling and looked as lost as I felt about how to help him.

“He misses them.”

A lump lodged in my throat as I understood what she was staying.Them.Not just Derrick, but Aidan as well.

“I know,” I whispered, emotion straining my voice. “He eats lunch with me.”

Her head turned to mine and her eyebrows pulled in.

I continued.

“Well, he usually does. He started coming to my desk and eating lunch right after he returned to school. He doesn’t say much, but I’ve seen how he’s changed, how this has weighed him down. A few weeks ago he told me he thinks Shane’s death is his fault because he convinced him to go boarding that day instead of playing football like Derrick wanted.”

Tears spilled before she could blink them back, before I was even done speaking. I reached out and held her hand.

“I’m really worried about him, Beth. I saw him today with some boys from school who aren’t very good influences, and he’s not talking to his old friends anymore.”

“I don’t know how to help.” She paused, wiped her soaked cheeks with her shaking fingers, and shook her head. “I’m trying, but when he’s speaking to me at all he’s usually shouting, and he’s refusing talk to anyone. We went on vacation last week and he wouldn’t leave the hotel room. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

I could feel her grief weighing her down. I no longer knew if I was helping or hurting her further by showing up, but if things were as bad as she said, I wanted to leave before Shane came home. The last thing I wanted to do was kill whatever trust he had in me.

“Here’s my number,” I told her, sliding a piece of paper across the table. “If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.” I leaned back in my chair. “That day…I can’t imagine him dealing with what he saw, and he’s so young, but for some reason, it’s bonded us in some way.” I stood up and shrugged. “Maybe, I don’t know. I know it changed me for certain, and I know what I dream at night, what I hear and what I see. I can only imagine how much worse it is for Shane.”

I was halfway to the door when she called my name. It was quiet and her voice was scratchy, slightly raw.

“Can you ask Aidan to visit him? Talk to him?”

“Aidan?”

She smiled and let out a sad pain-filled laugh. “Small-town mentality, Chelsea, and people talk. It’s not like the entire neighborhood hasn’t seen his truck at your place.”

My back straightened, disliking the idea that I’d become water cooler gossip. “There’s nothing going on between Aidan and me, except for maybe a friendship.”

“Regardless, you’ve become close with him, too. Shane misses him and he won’t return my calls.”

I pressed my lips together. The last time I brought up Shane, Aidan shut that down immediately. Still, I said, “I’ll do what I can, but I can’t make promises.”

“Thank you.” She rose from her chair to meet me in the doorway. “They’re lucky to have you…someone they can talk to. Thank you for letting me know your concerns about Shane.”

I left her house, completely uncertain if I’d done anything to help, or if I’d just made a stressed mom worry more about her son.

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