Page 43 of His to Cherish

Chapter 9

Aidan

“We should do something tomorrow.”

The suggestion came from Declan, but it could just as easily have come from any of them. Tyson, David, and I were all hanging out at Tyson and Blue’s house, where Tyson had invited us over for dinner and beers. I’d tried to get out of it.

David showed up and practically forced me into his Escalade. The asshole wouldn’t take no for an answer, and it wasn’t like I blamed him.

They tried to act nonchalant, but I knew better. They were trying, but they were trying too hard. We all knew what tomorrow was.

“No,” I said, and took a sip of my beer. They all stared at me, waiting for more of an explanation.

Declan was the only one brave enough to speak first. “I can take the day off at the restaurant, Aidan, it’s no big deal. But it’s probably not a good thing for you to be alone tomorrow.”

“Yeah?” I sneered and went to the fridge for another drink. I was doing too much of it these days—sneering and drinking—but really, what difference did it make? “You know what I need? You know what’s best for me?”

“Come on. We’re just trying to help. Derrick was all of ours.”

I slammed the fridge shut and glared at David. “No. He wasn’t.”

The whisper of regret at my harshness fluttered over me and I looked away when they all flinched. Damn it. Hehadbeen, at least in every way that mattered. When I was a struggling single dad, showing up at college, determined to fucking make something out of myself, these were the guys I’d met on the lawn one day when Derrick had still been in daycare. We’d bonded over Frisbees and joking about girls who were trying too hard to get our attention, and when they’d asked me to go out for a drink, I had to tell them why I couldn’t.

So instead, they came back to my shitty family style apartment just off campus, ordered pizza, and hung out with my two-year-old kid and me. They helped me every day after that, acting like it was no big deal to be seen walking around campus with a kid in tow. Hell, I was pretty certain Derrick’s diaper bag helped them get more pussy than anyone else.

“Fuck.” I set down my beer and pushed back my hair, staring at the countertop. “I’m sorry. Hell, I’m sorry, guys. I just…I can’t handle this shit.”

“We know, but you haven’t exactly let us be there for you, either,” Tyson said, pushing back from his spot at the counter. “We miss him, too, you know.”

I knew that. It was why I hated being around them right now.

I dragged my eyes off the counter and faced all of them, but was unable to look any of them in the eye. I shook my head and my chin began to tremble, and fuck if I was going to let them see me cry. The last thing I needed was to turn this room into a bunch of crying pussies, and I knew it would happen if I lost it.

“There’s nothing you can do to help. And I can’t…I can’t be around you tomorrow.” Not that I had anywhere else to be, but damn if I could handle it with them. Declan had been puked on by Derrick more times than I could remember. David used to bandage Derrick’s knees and was the one who’d taught me how to wrap his first sprained ankle. Tyson taught him how to throw a football better than I ever could. All of these men shaped Derrick into the kind kid he’d been growing up to be, and I couldn’t stand to be around them and all their damn memories and their pain.

I had enough of my own.

“Chelsea seems to be helping,” David said. I felt my lips curl as I glared at him. “I’m just saying. You’re hanging out with her more and avoiding the hell out of us, so I’m curious.”

David, the most laid-back and crazy one out of all of us, always pushed me. “We could go skydiving tomorrow. Do something insanely stupid that doesn’t have Derrick written all over it, but let’s do something, Aidan. For Derrick.”

“You could do Chelsea.” Declan snickered at his own joke, but when I tried to toss that same glare his way, he threw his head back and laughed. “Come on, you dumb shit. You think you’re hanging out with Chelsea because you don’t fucking want her? You’re crazy. We’ve all seen the way you’ve panted after her, wanted her. You even told Trina you did last fall.”

“I don’t want to talk about her.”

Mostly because I didn’t know what I felt about her. I liked her. I’d always wanted her. Sure, I jacked off to fantasies of her lips wrapped around my dick, but that didn’t mean anything. It was a familiar, friendly face or porn. She was prettier.

Declan crossed his arms over his chest. “Derrick always liked her. Always said you should date her.”

“I’m not hanging out with her because my kid liked her.” My skin felt tight. Hot and itchy. They were pushing too hard.

“Then why are you?”

“Damn it!” I shouted, and wrapped my hand around my bottle so I didn’t fling it at Declan’s face. “Because she fucking helps! She gets it in a way you don’t. She gets it in a way that doesn’t suck me into a black hole. She just fucking helps.”

“And she’s pretty. And you like her. And Derrick liked her for you. Come on, Aidan, at least be fucking honest with yourself if not us.”

My nostrils flared as Declan challenged me. I knew Tyson and David were thinking the same thing. And yeah, I fucking liked her. She was pretty and sweet and left me the hell alone and she didn’t push me like these assholes did. She didn’t force me to remember; she came with no memories of Derrick.

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