Page 18 of Don't Lie to Me

I sighed, loudly, frustrated at myself for letting my mind wander to the things that would ruin my night. It earned me a scowl from Jack and he instantly paused the game.

“You good with this?” He asked Logan and nodded toward a television larger than any person should possess in their home. It took up an entire wall and while it was great for movie nights, the turtles they were trying to jump on were so big they looked like they could eat us for dinner.

Jack sat his controller down, gave Logan his casual hair waggle, and nodded towards the door.

I met him out in his living room and plunked myself down on one of his incredibly soft chocolate brown sofas, and looked out over Lake Michigan. Jack’s penthouse apartment sat along Lake Shore Drive in the Streeterville area of Chicago, just a few blocks off Michigan Avenue. His breathtaking view faced Lake Michigan. During the day, I would look out the windows and watch the rolling white caps and shipping boats and massive sailboats head out on the water. Tonight, with a lack of lighting, all I could see was blackness.

I sipped the most delicious Cabernet Savignon I had ever tasted and closed my eyes, trying to relax. It didn’t help, though. Regardless of the amazing sex I had earlier, it had also come with too many questions, too many uncertainties and fears I had never anticipated in all my ponderings about what it would be like to actuallyhaveJack.

“You’re doing it again,” he admonished me as he sat down on an oversized chair in the corner, facing me.

I stayed looking out the window, too unnerved at the thought of getting swept up in his gorgeous brown eyes.

“Every time you looked at me this week your eyes were filled with regret and disgust over our kiss last week. And that was just a kiss.” I shook my head and took another sip of wine. “I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“I can’t promise you it won’t.”

I reluctantly dragged my tired eyes to his.

“I just know that I saw you today, and I had to have you.”

Well, he did. A couple of times, and if I was being completely honest, I still wanted more. I also wanted more than sex and I wasn’t sure he could give that to me. In fact, I knew he couldn’t give that to me.

He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands, grabbing fistfuls of his hair before he looked back up to me. “I don’t date.”

I didn’t say anything because I already knew that, and it only increased my resolve that whatever happened earlier in the day was temporary.

“And I don’t get close to anyone, but you got under my skin a long time ago and I’m tired of fighting it.”

Oh my shit. Startled, stunned, shocked, amazed, disbelief….just a few of the emotions that flew across my face at his admission. I clamped my mouth shut so it wouldn’t drop to my knees. My wine glass shook a little bit in my hands. I held it in my lap so I didn’t spill the red wine onto his luxurious sofa that probably cost more than my annual salary.

What was I supposed to say to that?

Apparently nothing, because he slowly stood up and joined me on the couch. Close enough to be intimate, far enough away to have my personal space.

I appreciated it.

I needed the small amount of space to think.

Except my mind went completely blank. Empty. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say while he sat on the couch, both of us staring at each other. I bit the inside of my cheek, wanting to say something; anything, to erase the nervousness I saw flash in his eyes.

“Do you remember the day you showed up for your first day of work?”

I did remember. Macy had told him she had a friend who desperately needed a good paying job. She said I was intelligent, organized and a hard worker and everything he would need in his personal assistant. He hired me without ever meeting me.

I was fourteen weeks along in my pregnancy and on the tail end of my morning sickness. Still crying over the loss of Marcus, I had slept horribly the night before, and had thrown up three times that morning, barely making it to his penthouse on time. My hair was thrown into a disheveled bun and my eyes were red and swollen. It was the worst first impression I had ever made on anyone in my entire life. I was amazed he didn’t fire me on the spot.

“I looked like shit that day.”

“You were glowing and breathtaking. You looked so sad, but determined. I had never seen anyone be so brave considering all I knew you were dealing with. But you had your head held high, and I knew you were determined to be successful, to make something for yourself and your baby. Something gripped me that day, and all I wanted to do was protect you and help you and take care of you.” He dropped his head a little bit while a thick silence grew between us. “I’ve spent every day since then trying to do just that but last week when I saw Dean touch you, I had to have more.”

My head was spinning in circles, trying to figure out how this completely controlled man, could admit such things to me.

“So what happens now?” I asked tentatively.

He sighed heavily and leaned back against the couch. It was the first time I had ever seen him look so uncertain; so fragile, and I didn’t know why.

“I’m going to fuck up. There’s a reason why I don’t date and let people in. I’m broken and damaged.” He leaned forward slightly, resting one of his hands on top of mine in my lap and squeezed it gently. “But I still want to try.”

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