Page 47 of Don't Lie to Me

“I know. We got into a bad argument over a year ago when my mom….when she died. He was drunk and admitted everything he did to us all those years ago. I wanted to call you and apologize then, but I just couldn’t.”

He sighed heavily and turned away from me. I remember hearing about his mom’s death in the news. At the time, I didn’t want to care about her death at all. Unfortunately, she had been fairly decent to me in the years Marcus and I were together and I was saddened to hear about her dying of cancer. I noticed he struggled with the last word and my interest peaked at what happened to his mom. Whatever it was; it was not pretty.

He turned away from me slightly. It was that moment, where I was overcome with how completely similar Logan looked like him. His nose twitched slightly and I almost gasped out loud. It simply reminded me that he hadn’t spent a single day around his son and yet they shared the same mannerisms.

“I was sorry to hear about your mom. She was a nice woman,” I said softly, offering whatever pathetic condolences I could give. I wasn’t shocked at all about what he said about his dad. Based on all the information I had just found out, I realized Marcus’s dad could do anything he wanted and probably get away with it.

Marcus scoffed and turned to me, his eyes a steely, angry blue. Jack’s hand tightened on my waist and he pulled me back from Marcus. I apparently wasn’t the only one who saw his sudden change to anger. “My mom didn’t die of cancer, Emma. She killed herself when she finally realized how many times my dad had cheated on her.”

I gasped. Behind me, I heard Jack inhale a breath in between his teeth.

“Regardless of the shit with my mom and dad, I want you to know I’m sorry.” That got me. Marcus never apologized for anything. Ever. In his father’s mind an apology was a sign of weakness.

I arched an eyebrow saying nothing, but leaned back into Jack for help to keep me standing.

“I have a lot to apologize to you for. I’ve wanted to call you and explain…and then my mom…” he paused, pinched his eyes shut and rubbed a closed fist across his forehead. When he opened his eyes again, his hands fell to his sides. “I was an asshole. I was immature and unable to stand up for what I wanted and what I thought was right, and I’m so incredibly sorry for running and trusting my dad at all.”

“This apology is about five and a half years too late.”

“I know. I know it is.” He lowered his eyes briefly before looking back to me. When he did, he looked so much like the young twenty-year old boy I knew years ago during my second year of college. His hair was a little shorter now, shaggy but still professional enough, and his five o’clock shadow was slightly scruffier than it was when he was younger. His eyes held a weight in them, a pain that wasn’t there when I knew him before, but he was still just as handsome, if not more.

Marcus Whitmore drew attention from every female he passed when we were at DePaul. I had a feeling that hadn’t changed at all as his eyes pierced mine, pleading with me silently.

I saw a man standing in front of me and not the rich, albeit completely beautiful and gorgeous, boy I used to know.

Marcus had grown up. I just didn’t know if I could trust him.

But it wasn’t up to me. Logan wanted to know his dad, regardless of whom he was or where he came from. A tear escaped my eye and I brushed it away quickly, thinking of how Logan had asked me at the start of the pre-school year last year why he didn’t have a daddy like the other kids when they had to draw family pictures. It made my heart crumble at the time, not knowing what to say, but knowing that my explanation of how he didn’t have a dad but Uncle Tate was pretty special didn’t appease him nearly enough.

As if reading my mind and knowing I was debating something important, Marcus reached out and took my hand. “I’m not the kid you knew Emma.”

I turned my head to Jack and wiped away another tear. He looked down at me, and for a moment, I forgot Marcus was standing behind me. Jack simply pulled his lips into a tight, but understanding smile.

He put one hand on my cheek. “You can do this, Emma.”

I nodded and turned back to Marcus. His eyes were furrowed in confusion and I almost lost it then, looking at my son’s father who had no idea I was about to rock his world.

“What’s going on?” He flipped his eyes between Jack and me before flexing his fingers nervously at his sides.

I did the one thing I never thought I would do. Reaching in to my wallet, I withdrew a small school photo and handed it over to him. His fingers grasped it gingerly, and I saw his hands shake just slightly.

“This is your son, Logan. He’ll be five in two weeks. I didn’t use your dad’s money and I didn’t do what he told me to do.”

I watched his face distort in front of me as he flickered through way too many emotions for me to place. His thumb softly swept across the edges of the photo while he took in every feature on Logan’s face and my heart softened towards him against my own will.

I never knew what new mothers meant when they said they watched their husbands fall in love when they held their child for the first time, but watching Marcus now, I totally understood. His love for Logan was instantly tangible and several minutes later when he finally pulled his gaze from the photo to mine; so was his regret.

I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent while Marcus’ eyes flitted back and forth between the photo and me letting him have this time to process everything he needed to. Five and a half years ago, when I told him I was pregnant, my heart had burst with joy when he offered to elope immediately and get married and start our life together just as we had dreamed. But within forty-eight hours all that joy was crushed to pieces.

As I watched him reverently holding the photo of his son, I realized for the last five years, regardless of who had been in my life to help and support me; the one person I always wanted there, the one person who should have been there, was standing right in front of me. My heart broke all over again realizing what Logan and I had missed out on – a real family.

“He’s beautiful,” Marcus whispered. Had I been standing mere inches further away, I would have had to strain to hear him.

There was a softness, a longing in Marcus’s eyes I couldn’t deny or turn away from as he looked at me. It caught me so off guard it took me a few seconds to remember that he had actually spoken.

I simply nodded in agreement, a slight smile spreading on my lips. “He is. And smart, too.”

“Just like his mom.”

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