Page 25 of Long Road Home

I didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or laugh. For the last twenty minutes, after I’d convinced Toby to go shower, he’d talked non-stop about the time he spent playing ball with Jordan.

He was enamored with that man, and I couldn’t blame him. There’d been something so beautiful, so sweet and perfect about sitting on the porch, dinking around on my computer, watching father and son play ball and laugh together.

For the millionth time, I regretted my choices and wished I could take them all back.

None of that mattered though, because Jordan definitely hated me, even if he didn’t think he could. We would never be that sweet, fun family unit we’d always talked about creating. I’d burned my chance of that.

“I can ride. Jordan and I used to go out on them at least once a week. Gray has to be old now.”

“He said they have goats, too, and the kids like chasing them. Said you and I could go out there some time.”

The goats must have been new. All they had all those years ago were cattle and horses.

Animals were the least of my worries. Rebecca and I were oil and vinegar. I’d make it work if she did though, for my kid’s sake. I doubted we’d be able to manage it.

“Rebecca has kids?” I asked. That icy feeling slid down my spine. In all my years away, I’d never even considered the possibility of keeping him from cousins. Or Jordan’s parents.

Shit. They were going to want to kill me.

“No,” Toby said and then his jaw dropped. “I don’t know whose kids he was talking about. Oh! I forgot! She’s marrying Cooper Hawke! You know…that guy you love in movies?”

Cooper Hawke? He was a famous actor and Toby wasn’t wrong. The man was gorgeous from head to toe. I was definitely a fan of his movies, especially the ones where he didn’t wear a shirt…and there were lots of those. But him? Living in Kansas? “No way.”

“Yes way. Jordan said. He lives here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. He said they’re getting married in a few weeks.”

I hadn’t seen my son grin so much or talk so fast in days. An hour alone with Jordan and my sullen pre-teen had been replaced with the kid he was before Tillie’s funeral.

Coming back here was going to end up being the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life, especially if I stayed longer. But it could end up being the best thing to happen for Toby.

Allison had been right earlier, much like she always was. He needed this.

“Hey, before Jordan gets back, I want to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?” That grin fell into a straight line.

“I talked to Allison earlier today. She and I talked about maybe if you’re okay with it, I could work from here for a while. Give you some time with…your dad.” Calling Jordan to Toby felt like there was a distance there I needed to bridge. But I hadn’t used that word much and it tripped over my tongue.

“How long? Like, leave home?”

I shook my head. “No. We’ll be back for school. I meant the rest of the month.”

“What about after?” Uncertainty clouded his features. I’d effectively erased all his happiness. Awesome. “Like when we do go back? Will I see him again?”

“Yes.” I reached out and grabbed him, pulled him to me with my hands on his shoulders. Crouching down so we were at eye level, I showed him how serious I was. “We’ll talk about that. We’ll work it out. But you want your dad in your life, and it’s the best thing for all of us, I swear to you, you’ll be able to see him.”

“Texas is a long ways away.”

“And we have time to work this out, okay? It might not be perfect. It might not be exactly what we all want, but you will have him in your life. He wants that too. But for now, you take all the time you want to spend with him, okay?”

He bit his cheek and nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay.” I grinned, kissed his forehead and stood as my phone rang. “How about you go watch for him? I’m sure he’ll be here soon. I gotta take this call.”

I saw Paul’s name on the screen as I grabbed it, and answered. “Hey, Paul,” I said, trying to sound happy. My kid was in emotional crisis, my life suddenly in upheaval, and Paul, as sweet as he was being worried about us was not someone I wanted to talk to about any of it. “Sorry I didn’t call you back earlier. How was your day?”

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