Page 26 of Long Road Home

“That’s what I was calling to find out from you, sweetheart. You and Toby okay?”

We were a living, breathing, mess. “Um. Yeah. It’s been hard, but we’re okay.”

“And the funeral? Still wish you would have let me be there for you.”

He was such a good man. I could hear the longing in his voice to be there for us, to be that man I needed to lean on in the hard times ringing clear in his voice. But he was never going to be that, and as much as I wanted to make that clear to him, this wasn’t the time, either. “I know. But it was sweet, and she had lots of people who loved her.”

They’d just hated me. It was all going to get so much worse, too.

“I loved her too,” he said. “Good lady. So how’s the packing going?”

“Slow,” I said, drawing out the word. Good grief. How did I tell him any of this? “Listen, Paul. We, well we have to talk, but now’s not the best time.”

“Talk? Did something happen? What is it?”

“Well—”

“Mom he’s here! And he has a huge box! Holy cow!” Toby started shouting, but then I lost him because the front door slammed closed.

“Was that Toby?” Paul asked in my ear. “Can I see how he’s doing?”

Think!

“Honey,” I said, shaking like a leaf. I couldn’t talk to him now. Not with Toby screaming and Jordan outside. I’d do it. Tomorrow. “Listen, Paul, we have some company and now’s not the best time, but we’ll talk, tomorrow okay? There are things I have to tell you.”

“Tomorrow,” he said, and I swore I almost heard a smile in his voice. “We’ll talk then. I love you, Janey.”

I cringed at his confession. I’d only broken up with him a few weeks ago and while I appreciated him wanting to be around for Toby, he had to realize I wasn’t going back to him. Plus there was the name. It’d taken me years to get used to people calling me by my middle name. Back then, I never wanted to hear Destiny again. But Jordan had been calling me that for days and anytime he said the word, it catapulted me back to when he didn’t look at me like he wanted to strangle me.

“Mom! You’ll never guess what Jordan bought!” Toby’s screechy shout made my heart race.

“I gotta go,” I said, hanging up, and setting the phone down on the counter, gripping it until my knuckles ached. Tears swarmed, and my emotions raced.

One problem at a time.

“Mom,” Toby said, my name a huge breath as he exhaled and slid into the kitchen. “Jordan bought me a basketball hoop! He says we can set it up in the morning. Isn’t that cool?”

He was bouncing on the balls of his feet. His blue eyes were so big they risked popping out of his sockets.

I was still reeling from Paul and my feelings toward him and what a huge screaming sucky bitch I was it took me a minute to respond and by then, Jordan was in the doorway.

“Hope that’s okay,” he said, but he was grinning at Toby, and God, who could fault him for wanting to spoil him with something he’d love so much.

“It’s fine,” I replied and loosened my clutch on the phone. “It’s great.” I forced a smile for Toby’s benefit. “Can’t have him breaking the siding or denting the garage door.”

“Yeah. I was going for practical with my thinking.” There was a slight teasing tone in his voice and my eyes rolled back in my head. I was being an idiot.

I turned to Toby. “Paul says hi. He misses you.”

His smile wavered. “Yeah? You tell him we’re staying here?”

Out of the corner of my eye, Jordan’s arms crossed over his chest. I didn’t need to look at him to feel the pulse of anger rolling off him. “I’ll tell him tomorrow. Now, wasn’t there some guy’s gaming night planned?”

Jordan rested his hand on Toby’s shoulder. “Do you know how to get it set up? Plugged in and ready?”

“Yeah.” His eyes darted back and forth between Jordan and me. “I can do it.”

“Go on. I’ll be there in a minute.”

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