* * *
She lookedlike she slept less than I had and that was essentially saying she looked like shit. She also refused to look me in the eyes. Her hair was in that messy bun she’d wrapped it in last night. And the flashback almost made me drop to my knees then and there.
But it was her eyes, dark-rimmed circles beneath them, swollen and bloodshot that hurt worse.
Shit. I hadn’t just hurt her. It was worse than that and that made my hands curl into fists and tense at my sides to avoid grabbing her and slamming my mouth to hers right in the middle of the waiting room on the fifth floor.
Instead, I gave her space. I was there to see the kids. I hitched the duffel bags filled with hats and footballs and a host of other items including ridiculous foam fingers over my shoulder.
“That didn’t go so well,” Danny muttered as my gaze bounced off Elizabeth and down the hall. “I think you might need more than chocolate.”
“Shut up,” I grumbled.
He slapped his arm to my shoulder and shoved me forward. “Anyone can fix things, it’s you. You’re the best guy there is Gage Bryant.”
“If that were true I wouldn’t have been such an asshole to her.”
“Eh. You’ve got a dick. Sort of comes with the territory.”
Idiots. All of them.Elizabeth had told me that. Right there in the center where Danny and I were headed. Which meant if she could think that about her brothers and love them, perhaps I’d be able to show her I was worth it, too.
“True that,” I replied.
We entered the first room, a seventh-grade football player who’d recently made local news for getting a spinal cord injury during one of his own games. He’d regained feeling in his arms but hadn’t yet in his legs.
I blew out a breath. Today was for the kids not the problems of my own making.
It took effort, but I plastered on a smile and shoved Beaux and Powell out of the way. “Hey man, Gage Bryant. How’s it goin’?”
His dark brown eyes skipped and jumped as he took us all in. “Wow. I can’t believe y’all are really here.”
His hands went to his bed like he was trying to push himself up and frustration etched his features. I reached around Beaux and grabbed the remote on the side of his bed. Then I hit the button, lifting him up so he was sitting. I said nothing, acted like I’d done or noticed nothing. He might have still been a kid, but he was a competitor which meant he didn’t want to seem weak, especially not around us.
“You’re Javier, right?” I asked and grabbed his hand. His grip was weak so I was careful. “What position did you play?”
“Cornerback.” He looked down at his legs and back to me, frustration gone, determination replaced and in that split second, he earned the respect from all of us. “And Iwillplay again.”
Powell held out his closed fist. “Damn straight you will.”
* * *
We workedour way down the hall stopping in every room where parents had given prior permission. I hadn’t seen Elizabeth since the waiting room when we stepped off the elevator and that was hours ago. Jason was following us with his camera and in fact, it was mostly just the cameraman staying close. They gave us privacy in some rooms, respected the choice of some parents to stay in the hall, and when we entered the room to varying degrees of excitement, the camera crews stayed as close to the door, as far out of the way as possible. We’d done this enough to know almost exactly where to stand to still give them their shot while getting the kids on screen and have it appear natural.
After an hour of visiting the kids, some with minor injuries, some with life-changing injuries like Javier and some with debilitating diseases, the scum I’d made of my life was put back in its proper place. There were a lot of people who went through a lot more shit than what I’d created unnecessarily last night.
I’d hurt a woman I cared about for no reason, jumping to conclusions because I didn’t give her—or us—time to get to know each other. And as soon as the day was done, I’d go to her house and do whatever I could to make it better.
It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was all I had time for. Just knowing she was close and I couldn’t get to her, that she didn’t want me to be anywhere near her compressed my chest and made breathing difficult.
“Man, some of these kids are the total shit,” Beaux said, coming up to me in the hallway. “I can’t even imagine some of this crap they go through.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, and punched Beaux in the gut. The guys all knew about Harrison before the hospital stuff invaded my life and became a purpose. I had his jersey number from youth football, forty-five, stitched into every jersey I wore at games.
“Oh shit.” He groaned. “Sorry man. I didn’t mean to forget.”
“I get it.” Suddenly, a piercing sound blasted through the air.
“What the—”