Page 116 of Before We Fell

I huffed. It was almost a laugh. “I am,” I assured her.

“Good. Have fun.” She waved her hand in the air and headed out the front door.

As soon as the front door closed, the bathroom door opened, the creaking of hinges alerting me to the fact Lauren would be coming out. “Tinley?” she called.

I stepped toward the mouth of the hallway. “No. It’s me.”

She jolted, just her head and shoulders were peeking out of the bathroom doorway. As she realized I was there, that I’d chased her, she blinked several times.

“What are you doing here?” She wiped beneath her eyes and sniffed.

I’d made her cry. Again. It probably wouldn’t be the last, but it would be the last time I did it without her being in my arms, comforting her, knowing she had my full love.

“You didn’t let me talk.”

She pulled back her shoulders and stepped toward me. I watched, fascinated as she tried to blank her emotions and gather her strength. “I said all I needed to.”

“I’m sorry.” The apology came so quick she froze in her spot. I took her shock and moved closer, but still giving her distance. I’d reclaim it in time. “I’m so damn sorry. I freaked out. I handled it poorly. I was so scared, so surprised and I let everything fall apart.”

She blinked and I took a breath. I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind since Thanksgiving. Christmas was horrible without her laughter and her smiles and everything that made her so damn sweet and sexy at the same time.

“I’m an asshole. I admit it. I was thrown, Lauren, and I let my fear rule me. And you’re right. I didn’t trust you enough, or I didn’t have the tools inside of me to believe the best, and that makes me an asshole, I know that.”

She shook her head, but I didn’t give her time to argue. I didn’t need her reminder because she’d already so clearly laid out how much I hurt her.

“I’m sorry,” I said again. I’d repeat it as often as necessary until she believed me. “I’m so sorry for hurting you, for not trusting your love enough, for not loving you enough. But don’t leave. Don’t go.”

I needed her. I was half the man I wanted to be, knew I could be, without her in my life. The last few months had proven that, it’d just been my stubbornness keeping me away.

“I don’t want to leave,” she finally said, and the pain in her voice, the rawness of it was a punch to the gut. “But I can’t stay—”

“You can, because I love you. Because Riley misses you so damn much. I haven’t shown it, not as I should have, but I love you, Lauren. I want a life with you, and I want my home to be yours. I’ve screwed that up, but I swear to you, if you can find it in your heart to give me another chance, I promise you, I will fight every breath I take for the rest of our lives to make it up to you. To never hurt you again. And to always,always, trust in you. To trust in us.”

More tears lined her cheeks. She was shaking. Hands trembled at her sides as she clutched them into fists. She was either ready to bolt or run into my arms and forgive me.

I was prepared for either.

“Please,” I said. She laughed. She knew how hard that word was for me. “Please,” I repeated, edging closer to her so she was within arm’s reach. My hands went to her cheeks, thumbs brushed away her tears. She flinched in my hold, but she didn’t pull back…

She leaned toward me.

And God, that simple movement. My heart leaped inside my chest. “Please forgive me. Please stay here. Stay with me. With Riley. We need you.”

She sniffed. I brushed away more tears. Her hands curled around my wrists. It was the first touch she’d given me in almost four months and I was starving for more.

On her time.

“It hurt. And I understood, but it also wasn’t my fault. None of it was.”

“I know. I know that. I knew it then. I just…I was an ass.”

She huffed a laugh. So short but so sweet. Tear-filled eyes glimmered at me as our gazes locked. She was killing me. Her chin wobbled as we stood, so close, so far away.

“You can’t hurt me again,” she said, and those fingers of hers tightened on my wrists like she was already afraid of it.

“Never.”

It was a vow. I wouldn’t break it. I’d probably be a jerk and piss her off a thousand times, but I would never hurt her.

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