Page 64 of Before We Fell

“I don’t either.” I shook my head. I hadn’t even considered what people would think. “The yard’s empty. Brooke got everyone inside.”

He looked quickly, eyes widened. “Oh. Damn.”

“Yeah.” I sat down on the grass next to them and brushed a hand down her hair and back. “It’s okay, Riley. That noise was kind of scary, huh?”

“Daddy,” she moaned. “Mommy.”

Above the top of her head, my eyes landed on Noah’s. My chin wobbled as I reached out, touched his hand with mine. He flinched but quickly turned over his hand and gripped mine in his.

I’m so sorry,I mouthed.

He nodded and said nothing. I didn’t need to hear a single word from him to see how wrecked he was. How much seeing Riley like this hurt him. How much he hated that he couldn’t fix her.

He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes.

And I did nothing except sit there with him until Riley stopped crying, until Noah stood, holding her in his arms before helping me up.

And when he asked me to come home with them, help him, there was nothing else to say except, “yes.”

Twenty

Noah

Up until six months ago,I knew exactly where my life was going. I woke up every single day with every hour, sometimes every minute planned out exactly.

That all went out the window as soon as I rushed to the hospital and held a sobbing Riley in my arms. Since then, everything had gone sideways. But I learned something the day Riley screamed in a back yard over a fucking balloon that must have reminded her of a gunshot. Somehow, Lauren centered both of us.

Even with Riley bawling her eyes out, her little body quaking in my hold, and Lauren teary-eyed next to me, I’d never, never in my life, felt more certain that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Which meant Lauren couldn’t leave. Not me. Not Riley.

In less than two months, she had become our strength and I had no clue what would happen if she ever got sick of my bullshit.

I couldn’t mess this up.

I also couldn’t say goodbye to her. Not that day. Not in the yard.

And thank God, she didn’t argue when I asked her to come home with us. She’d gotten to her feet, and while I took Riley out to my truck, she’d paused only to let me know she was going to go in and say goodbye to everyone.

By the time she got to my truck, Riley was buckled into the back and I wasn’t the least bit surprised when Lauren met me at the driver’s door where I’d been standing, waiting for her, and she slid right past me.

“I’ll sit in the back with her.”

Relief like I’d never felt before raced through my veins. “Thank you.”

She pressed her hand to my cheek and licked her lips. Tears had dried on her own cheeks, leaving ruined makeup, but she’d never looked better. Because I knew those tears she’d cried weren’t for Riley. They were for both of us.

My hand curled around the handle to open her door, but I paused. Her face was tilted to me, eyes squinting from the sun. “Stay with me tonight? Please, I…”

Didn’t want to be alone.

She didn’t make me say it. Her small, warm hand slid to my arm and squeezed. “Of course I will.”

I wouldn’t even bother pretending I needed her for Riley. I just needed her for me. To feel the warmth of a body around me. To know that somehow, in all the depressing shit my family had gone through, that there was someone out there who cared. Not just about Riley, but about me.

I had a feeling Lauren understood that well before I did.

“Okay. Thank you.”

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