Page 65 of Before We Fell

“You know, Noah,” Lauren said and her lips quirked into a smile. “You’re not so much the jerk you like to pretend to be.”

A warmth rumbled in my chest. “Don’t let anyone know.”

I opened the door for her, and she climbed in, both of us smiling, and I never would have thought that would have been a possibility so soon after the horrific incident we’d both witnessed with Riley. Once she was settled in the backseat, her arm draped over Riley’s shoulders and Riley’s head resting against Lauren, I pulled out of my spot on the street and made the quick drive home.

It was only a few minutes, Brooke and Andrew only lived a half-mile from my place, but even then, by the time I cut the engine in my driveway, Riley’s eyes were closed, her lips were parted and when I met Lauren’s gaze, turned to look at both of them, she held a finger to her lips.

“I’ll go to her side and get her out, take her to bed.”

It wasn’t even four in the afternoon. But the girl was out. Lauren met me at the front of the truck, and I handed her the keys. “The blue one opens the front door.”

“Got it.”

Lauren unlocked the door and entered first, holding the door open so I could enter with Riley in my arms. She didn’t make a sound, or wiggle a finger she was sleeping so soundly, but as I passed Lauren, she trailed one finger gently down Riley’s cheek, leaned in and kissed her softly. “Sweet dreams, honey.”

I felt that tender voice of hers through my skin, where it pierced pieces of me I didn’t even know still worked. Like my heart. Or maybe it was my soul.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. Make yourself at home.” Gesturing toward the kitchen with a tilt of my head, I continued, “I’ve got drinks in the fridge, tea and lemonade, wine on the counter.”

“Can I get you anything?”

A bottle of scotch sounded magnificent. Or a case of beer. Unfortunately, Lauren didn’t drink much and getting wasted when Riley might not sleep well wouldn’t do anyone any good.

“I’ll get something when I get back. Get a drink. Sit. Rest.”

Her lips pressed together, and her shoulders shook. She brushed her hand over my shoulder as she passed me, muttering, “And we’re back to the dog commands.”

God, this woman. I couldn’t have imagined laughing at anything unless it was coming from her.

I made quick but gentle work as I placed Riley in her bed. Her sandals slid right off and fortunately, she’d been wearing a tank top and shorts to the party, so I took off the shorts, shifted her under the covers and flicked on her lamp.

She didn’t stir at all except to clutch her stuffed, tattered dog more tightly in her arms.

I watched her for a moment from the doorway and scrubbed my hands over my head and down my face. It’d takeyearsto erase the echoes of her screams from my memory.

“Is she okay?” Lauren asked, surprising me behind me. Her hand pressed to my shoulder and slid down my back. So soothing. So timid.

So fucking perfect.

“No. She’s not okay.”

I hadn’t admitted it out loud. To anyone. All that hope and burying how she wasn’t okay with the hope that “time would heal all wounds,” had allowed me to bury my head in the sand.

“Come on,” Lauren whispered, and her hand fell until she wrapped my fingers in hers. She tugged me, leading me back toward the kitchen. “I poured you a drink. Figured you could use it.”

Yeah. I could use a drink. But it was Lauren I needed.

“Has she had any therapy?”

We were sitting in the living room. Lauren was close to me on the couch, not right next to me, but close enough I could reach out and touch her. She was facing me, one leg bent under her. When she pulled me into the living room, I collapsed into the couch like I’d run a marathon and my legs couldn’t move another step.

Then she’d handed me a scotch on the rocks, grabbed a glass of wine for herself, and curled up close.

My scotch was half-gone, and she hadn’t touched her wine, just stared out the window while she gave me space.

It was the first thing she’d said to me since we sat down. And the only thing I’d been thinking of.

“Yeah. I put her in it right away. But the more I took her, the more she started to shut down. I took her again, a few times after we moved to someone in Lawrence when her nightmares got worse, though.”

---