Page 66 of Before We Fell

Until the therapist made it blatantly obvious that she wanted to fuck me. She’d barely look at Riley at all when she met us in the waiting room before and after. I didn’t know what she acted like when it was just her and Riley alone, but the day she squeezed my shoulder and leaned in way too damn close to be professional, letting me know I could call her if I neededanythingabruptly ended that relationship.

“I should find someone else for her.” The burn of scotch hit my throat as I took a hefty swallow. I leaned forward and clutched the glass in my hands. Next to me, the couch cushion moved, and Lauren was there, curled to my side, head on my shoulder.

Goddamn, it felt good. Right.

“What can I do to help?”

I placed one of my hands on her knee pressed to my thigh and held tightly. “This. This is all I need tonight. Some company.”

Her lips brushed along my shoulder, not sexy, not seductive, just comforting. Like the kiss she’d given Riley earlier. “I can do that.”

“Stay the night with me.”

“Whatever you need, Noah.”

And it was that offer. That beautiful sweet and genuine offer where I knew…she wouldn’t just give me whatever I needed that day, but whatever I neededanyday. Lauren was the purest, most genuine person in my life. I was the asshole who was going to selfishly take everything she offered, demand more until she gave me everything.

Not because it’d be good for Riley. Because I was selfish enough to want it for myself.

I didn’t feel a damn bit of shame for admitting I needed it too.

“God, today fucking sucked,” I murmured, shaking my head. Next to me, Lauren huffed a little laugh.

“It wasn’t the best. Has she acted like that before?”

“Not when she was awake. But her nightmares come and go.” They were all the same—screaming for her mom and dad in that same, ear-piercing wail.

What I wouldn’t give to never hear that tone again.

“I know it’s not my business, but has she ever told anyone what happened?”

“No.” And that sucked, because as much as I’d hated the idea of a kid being questioned, I’d allowed it. I’d tried. Softly, cautiously. The cops had as well, even bringing in a female officer with me and my mom in the room. We’d met in my old living room in the condo, somewhere familiar to her.

We hadn’t even gotten around to talking about that night, easing her in with other questions about her life, what she enjoyed. She’d answered those questions, but when the police officer had leaned forward and asked, “Do you likeThe Lion King?” she’d shut down.

And she did it in such an obvious way, the officer immediately pulled back, slid worried, anxious eyes to me, and that’d been it.

We knew Riley saw the guy who shot her parents. But there was no way in hell I was going to put her through the torture of talking about what happened or identifying him if it meant she’d shut down further.

“I didn’t want to put her through more pain.”

“I don’t blame you,” Lauren said, and her weight settled more into me.

I leaned back against the couch, draped my arm over her shoulders and held her close to me. Her hand landed on my thigh. Her head was at my chest. The sweet, creamy scent of her perfume drifted into the air and I closed my eyes. Just her body being close to me helped me relax. Helped me think straight.

“I don’t have the faintest clue how to help her, Lauren, and it kills me. Every day, it kills me.”

I stood and reached for his hand. For a moment he stared at it before placing his hand in mine. “Come on.” I tugged until he stood to his feet.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking you to bed.” A wicked gleam sparkled in his eye and I squeezed his hand. “Not for that. You need to lie down and rest. And I think you might need a back rub.”

“Or a bath with you curled up with me.”

Now, that was an idea I hadn’t considered. I looked at him over my shoulder. “Do you think that’ll be okay? With Riley?”

The excitement in his eyes dimmed. “Yeah. She’ll probably be passed out for a few hours.”

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