Page 56 of 28 Dates

I’m sorry. I don’t think we should meet. I do really enjoy messaging you, and another day, it might have worked, but I’ve met someone and I’ve enjoyed talking with you, but I have to pursue this.

It’s cryptic. That small burst of jealousy pumps through my blood as I grip my phone.

It’s not Logan. And I know she’s seeingmetonight, but I still can’t help but wonder if there’s someone else.

Still, I type out a quick response.

I understand. And that’s quite the disappointment for me. Hope things work out for you.

Little does she know she’s about to meet both in person, and I can only hope she realizes why I’ve done what I did and can forgive me for it. I print the schedule out, shut down my computer, and tell Tucker I’m heading out.

I only have a few remaining hours to prepare for tonight, and I need to get my ass moving.

Chapter 20

Caitlin

I’m a mess. An absolute horrid mess beneath my put-together appearance. I’ve changed clothes since I met Logan and ran into Jonas earlier today, and it’s still Jonas’s expression as he recognized who I was eating lunch with that is keeping me from crumbling into an even larger disaster.

Teagan walks into my bedroom, eyes widening at the clothing tornado that has erupted all over my floor.

“Wow,” she drawls and tiptoes over a pile of dresses and high-heeled shoes. She has a glass of pink champagne held carefully in her hand. “Um, I thought you might need a drink to settle your nerves, but now I’m thinking we just need the whole bottle.”

“I can’t do this. I mean, what is wrong with me?” My hands fly to my hips. I’m hot and flushed. My mascara is at risk of running if I don’t get my emotions in check. Champagne might not be the best solution to calming me down.

It’s Jonas, for crying out loud. Just Jonas. The guy who Ithinkmight like me back still, after this afternoon. But if I was scared of tonight before running into him today, I’m at risk of having a heart attack now. I can’t believe he walked into the café when Logan and I were there, and I’m still thinking I might have imagined the look of utter pain to slash his features as he realized who I was with. And the way he watched me on the street? He’d been so relieved when I said it was just lunch and I was letting him down in person.

Why?His voice was so rough. Like he almost didn’t want to hear the answer and had to ask anyway. It took me by such surprise I couldn’t answer, although a part of me wanted to confess everything.

And yet I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never offered up pieces of my heart to anyone. I’ve never been so vulnerable.

Why in the hell do people fall in love in the first place? It’s not fun. It’s scary as hell to open yourself into trusting someone else.

And love?

Me?

Jonas?

I flip back to the full-length mirror and brush down my skirt. I’m wearing a freaking skirt in January. I need my head examined. I need a joint to chill me the F down, and I’ve never touched drugs in my life. But that’s what it does, right? I mean, everyone I’ve ever seen who was high is so damn calm. That’s what I need.

My eyes bounce to Teagan in the reflection. She’s approaching me slowly, either being careful of the mess I’ve created with the entire contents of my closet or fearful I might lash out at her. “Do you have weed? I need some.”

She chokes on a laugh, shaking her head. “What?”

“Weed. You know. It relaxes people. Isn’t it legal here now anyway?” I snap my fingers. “I know. Paul!” He works at Dirty’s and he’salwayshigh. Maybe he’ll be there tonight.

Teagan presses the champagne glass to my palm, curling my fingers around the stem like I’m a doll with movable pieces. “You don’t need drugs, honey. You need to grow some lady balls and finally admit you’re in love with Jonas. It’s not scary, it’s wonderful. Trust me.”

She’s dead freaking wrong. There is nothing wonderful about this knot in my stomach or the way my veins are pulled so tight I’m at risk of damaging ligaments in my entire body. Oh my God. I could just snap into a thousand pieces on my way there, and then what will happen?

Here lies Caitlin…exploded from the stress of falling for a guy who might not want her.Maybe someone will memorialize the sidewalk I splatter onto to serve as a warning to other lovesick fools.

One of Teagan’s hands moves to my shoulder, and she turns me to face her. Her other hand presses against the bottom of my glass, and she pushes it until the rim is almost at my mouth. She looks like one of the many nannies I had when I was home sick with the flu. The wariness and patience as she forced me to take my medicine.

Champagne has alcohol. Alcohol has medicinal properties. Right. I take a sip.

The bubbles fizz in my mouth and down my throat. Teagan eyes me with a playful grin on her face, blinking slowly, and biting her lip as I swallow.

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