Page 57 of 28 Dates

“I’m amusing you,” I say.

“I have to admit, seeing you like this is kind of funny.”

“What if I’ve read him wrong, Teagan?”

One of her shoulders lifts and falls. “Then you know and you can move on, but I like this. I like him for you, and I don’t think you’ll be disappointed at all. But I’m proud of you. You guys have been dancing around this for years, and you’ve already hurt him. He might make you work for it, but I can promise you,promise you,that loving someone? It’s totally worth the work it takes to get on the same page.”

The morning before Teagan met Corbin, she’d walked in on her longtime boyfriend having sex with his boss’s daughter. Her story is another reason why I’ve avoided relationships. Why give your heart to someone just to have them yank it out of your chest and stomp all over it? Although by the end of the day, Teagan was living with Corbin, and she hasn’t stopped smiling since.

Maybe I need to start reexamining my view of relationships and looking at them through the lenses of people who are actually happy and faithful.

Ugh. Mind-blowing shifts in life perspectives are a pain in the butt.

She brushes her hand down the sleeve of my bell sleeve sweater and squeezes my hand. “Do you love him?”

The simple question sparks fear, zinging through my body. I squeeze her hand back.

Do I? I like him. Yeah. I want to go back to what we had but more. I miss him.

And hell, it’s killed me not being able to have Jonas for the last six months, and it’s not the sexy nights and mornings and afternoons I miss the most. It’s all the stuff that came in between. The cuddling. The way he’d slide his fingers through my hair when we were in bed at night. The scent of him on my pillow, or the way he’d always pull me close to him on the couch, draping a blanket over me before taking what was left for his own lap. How he somehow knew my favorite foods without me even telling him, and how his mere presence, that moment he’d walk into my apartment or open the door to his, would just feelso damn good.

“Yeah.” I nod. Tears are making my vision blurry. “I think I do.”

“Admitting it is the first step.” Her face loses all humor.

“To what? Solving my problem?” I’m joking. Sort of. None of this feels good.

“No. It’s the first step to happiness, and there isn’t a single woman I know who’s had to fight for it more than you.” She claps her hand and steps back, waving her arms out gesturing to the mess. “Now you’re going to have that drink, go finish up your makeup, and I’ll clean up this disaster.”

I do as I’m told and take another sip of my favorite champagne. She’s right, the alcohol is helping.

Or maybe it’s just that Teagan is so damn wise and I’m finally listening to people who know what they’re talking about. Perhaps I should try it more often.

Eh. We’ll see how this goes.

“I love you, Teagan.”

“I love you too, shrimp. Now, are you sure that’s what you’re going to wear, or do you need to ransack your floor again?”

The emerald sweater dress is one of my favorites. With a loose cowl-neck top and bell sleeves, it’ll surely keep me warm and comfortable, but the color is perfect for my eyes and hair. More than once Jonas has said he loves seeing me in green. “Yeah. Unless you think it’s too much?”

Teagan’s smile confirms my own thoughts, and I don’t need her approval but she gives it anyway. “It’s perfect. Now go, scoot. I’ll go get the champagne, and then I’ll clean while you tell me what you’re going to say to him.”

“Say to him?”

Oh God, I’ve spent so much time gathering my nerve to tell him I want to date him, I haven’t given any thought to the actual words. I’ve been too busy trying to find my damn courage, which I know has to be hiding somewhere in this apartment.

“Forget it,” Teagan says. She shakes her head and heads out of the room. “You do you, girl. I’m getting the champagne.”

You do you. I’ve lived on my own without anyone besides Trey and Corbin helping me figure out how to adult. I don’t even know what she means. But I do know that whatever it is, something attracted to Jonas to me in the first place, years ago, so I can’t have too much to worry about, right?

I mean, I’m sure I’ll figure it out when I see him, and as long as the words “I love you” are included, is there anything else I need to say?

Oh goodness. I’m totally going to screw this up somehow. I know it.

Chapter 21

Caitlin

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