Page 6 of 28 Dates

I need to get my shit together before I see her, figure out what I’m going to do…especially about the upcoming weekend. But the more I think about it, cleaning up the spreadsheets a bit and finalizing the rest of my orders, one thing is for certain.

Dragging her along because I’m not over a woman I can’t have is not the guy I want to be. It’s not the guy I am.

Another groan rolls through my throat as I push out of my chair and leave my office, locking the door behind me. I trust all my workers, but the office is just past the bathrooms, and customers, especially after a few drinks, have a tendency to wander where they shouldn’t.

I head out of the hallway at the back corner, far away from the bar at the other end. Dirty’s isn’t too busy for late afternoon. The semiprivate booths are filled with folks who I assume have skipped out of work early, but the other tables are mostly empty. It’s expected for a late Monday afternoon. Our busiest nights run Thursday through Saturday with a line down the block most weekend nights until midnight. It’s impressive considering we’re just an upscale martini bar and not a nightclub, but I’ve worked my ass off since I bought the place months ago to turn it into a trendy hot spot. It’s cost me an amount of money that makes me want to vomit when I take the time to think about it, but thankfully, the terrifying investment has paid off in returns larger than I could have ever imagined.

My gaze skips down the bar, expecting to see Ashley’s black hair, pulled back into a ponytail, while she sips her favorite appletini. I don’t see her, and a frown furrows my eyebrows while my gaze makes another trek and then stalls.

Caitlin.

Her rich auburn-red hair falls in a silky sheet down her back, and she’s near a corner, turned in such a way that her smile aimed at Tucker does crazy, hot, and swirling things in my chest straight to my dick.

Fuck.You’re a prick, Jonas.

I am. And I can’t deny it because while it would have been nice to see Ashley despite knowing I’m going to end up hurting her, seeing Caitlin is fire and spice. My reaction to her is everything I so desperately want to have with Ashley.

I am so completely screwed.

It takes me a moment to gather my nerves and steel my heart against Caitlin’s beautiful laugh and voice that I’ll hear soon. I slide through the tables and patrons, heading straight to Tucker, now confused by his text.

“Hey, boss.” He flips a towel over his shoulder, his logo for Dirty Martini’s still visible on his black polo shirt.

I barely pay him attention. “Hey there.”

As he speaks, Caitlin’s back straightens like she’s surprised to hear me coming up behind her. She does this frequently. The first time she came into Dirty’s after we ended things, I’d had the strangest hope she was coming to tell me she made a mistake. That she missed me. That she’d do anything to keep me. Instead, she hadn’t shown a single reaction to seeing me kiss Ashley, and she sat down at the bar like nothing had changed. Talk about a blow to my fucking pride.

In the months since I’ve been with Ashley, Caitlin has never acted any differently. She’s never led me to believe letting me walk away is something she regrets. And it sucks that I’m still thinking of her while with another woman, but that doesn’t mean if she would have said anything, I’d act on it. I might obviously be stringing Ashley along, but I haven’t cheated on her. And I won’t.

I’ll end things with her before our weekend trip and go back to finding a woman who can light my skin on fire with a glance and give me the long-term relationship I want.

Unfortunately, that still isn’t Caitlin, as much as I wish it could be.

“You’re here earlier than usual. Crap day?” I ask Caitlin, walking by her without my usual hello. Things in my head are starting to knock together, and I need some of that Tylenol we keep behind the bar.

She tosses her phone onto the bar and rolls her eyes. Pretty green eyes I’ve seen hazy and glassy and excited and spitting fire.

Good God. Why today? Why now is this getting to me?

“You could say that. Trey’s been an asshole.”

“Bosses usually are.” Tucker shoves my shoulder as he says it.

I shove him back. “You’re fired.”

“Sure I’m not.” He lifts his chin toward a guy in a suit at the far end of the bar and heads that way. He’s not fazed by my meaningless threat. Who can blame him? I say it at least twice a shift.

“So what’s the hard day about?” I rest my elbows on the bar and lean forward, gesturing with my hand for her to give it to me.

“Oh no,” Caitlin laughs. She shakes her head and appears almost bashful. Which piques my interest. Caitlin is anything but bashful. “I’m not falling into the whole my-bartender’s-my-therapist thing you have going on. It’s not a big deal, really. I’ll figure it out.”

“Sure?”

It’s the last time I’ll ask. I won’t push her to talk if she doesn’t want to. Push Caitlin, and she pole-vaults away. I learned that within the first two weeks of sleeping with her. She might enjoy a physical connection, but it’s on her terms. Which makes me a lovesick fool for still wishing she’d give me that chance.

She sips her martini, extra dry with two olives like I always know she’s going to have at least one of. “I’m sure. But thanks for asking.”

“There you are! Hey honey!” I jump at the sound of Ashley’s voice. And good Lord, I’ve completely forgotten about the text, the fact I didn’t see her.

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