Page 9 of 28 Dates

“By dating guys? You?”

He chokes out that last word, the “You” thrown at me almost like it’s poison. Like I’m poison. And that hurts, because even if things were awkward after we stopped having sex, we’ve still always been friends in some weird way.

I push through the strange sensation in my gut his words cause. “It’s just a month. And it’s not like I’ll meet anyone—”

“But you’re considering it?”

Indignation rises in me. He walked away from me and found what he’s looking for. Why does it seem so wrong for me to do the same thing? He’s moved closer, and the phone is still loose in his hand like he’s forgotten he holds it. I lunge forward and snag it back.

He doesn’t react at all, but his unnerving stare is still glued to me.

“I might be.” I don’t want to be alone forever, do I? Just because I don’t want marriage or kids doesn’t mean I have to have nothing. “I don’t know, I guess. And you don’t get a say, you have a girlfriend. Remember?”

I’m such a bitch. There’s no reason to be throwing that in his face.IfI decide to use a dating app, it has nothing to do with Jonas. Or Ashley.

He flinches like I’ve slapped him and then nods slowly. “Right. Ashley. She’s a good girl.”

“Exactly. And I should probably take this conversation as my cue to leave.”

I gather my things, slapping down enough money to cover my bill and then some. I’m pushing off the stool, standing, my gaze focused on the drizzle outside and my raincoat when a warm hand wraps around my wrist. And good grief. The things the heat from his hand does to my body. I yank it out of his light grip before he sees or feels the goosebumps flaring up my arm.

“Don’t leave mad. It just took me by surprise.”

My gaze flickers to Jonas, his face twisted with displeasure, and back to the front door. Escape. Coming here today was not a good decision on my part. The possibility of this conversation happening was ridiculously high. I just didn’t think he’d care.

“I’m not mad.” And before I stop myself, I mutter the same words Teagan said to me. “But I can’t be alone forever, either, and maybe it’s time to give something else a chance.”

I doubt it will work. I’m too picky. Too stubborn. Too damaged and mistrusting, but for the last six months I’ve felt more alone than I have in my entire life, and that’s saying a lot, because I spent a lot of my youth as an only child alone when I wasn’t shipped off to boarding schools.

But man, I wish he’d leave and walk away. One more drink before I head home sounds like a fantastic idea, but I can’t now, not with Jonas standing next to me, looking thoughtful.

“I wish you the best, then.” He drops my wrist from his grasp and spins, heading straight toward his office.

Of course he will want that for me. As irritated as I am with him, I might be more irritated at myself.

I had the chance to have this amazing, incredible guy who gets me in ways I don’t understand myself. He makes me laugh, and his presence isn’t only comforting, it’s arousing. And I pushed him away, and now he’s not mine to even consider asking to have back.

I’m barely out on the sidewalk, phone in hand, when I pull up the text string from Trey.

Fine. I’m in. Thirty days max.

Chapter 4

Jonas

“I am really sorry, Ashley.”

Her red-rimmed eyes peer at me through her eyeglasses. “I know. Me, too.”

My hand is on the doorframe, ready to walk out. I hate the hurt on her face. Hate I’m doing this to her. Hate even more I’m not the guy for her. After Ashley and Caitlin left earlier, I tried to focus on work. When that spectacularly failed, I gathered up my balls and came to Ashley’s earlier than she expected me.

No use in putting off what my heart has been leading me to do for weeks now.

I definitely didn’t expect her to make this so easy for me, but that’s Ashley. Kind down to the tips of her toes and the bottom of her soul.

“All right then. I should go.”

She sniffs and looks over my shoulder. Her arms are wrapped around her stomach, and still I can’t leave. Six months with her and I care about her. A lot. Just not enough.

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