Page 86 of Unraveled Love

My dad.

The men in that warehouse.

Charlie had gotten a concussion.

Cort was in surgery.

Shawn…

“They all died because of me,” I whispered, and next to me, Charlie placed her hand on mine and squeezed.

“They gave their lives to protect you. There is honor in that, and respect. Not a single man does this job and doesn’t know the risk.”

I didn’t need excuses and platitudes. I didn’t know much about Lincoln or Mason. They hadn’t worn wedding rings, but that didn’t necessarily mean they weren’t in relationships. They had families, parents who loved them. They’d given their lives in protecting mine, but all I knew was their families’ heartbreak would weigh on me for the rest of my life.

“It’s all my fault.”

“Addi—”

Her soft voice was my undoing. She spoke slowly, like I was a nut ready to crack, and I did. I jumped from my chair and shoved her hand off me. “No! You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to talk to me like I don’t know what happened.” I threw out my arm, pointing at those doors. “Those men are dying. DYING, Charlie. And it’s because of me. This is my fault. My problem. I brought death to them, to their families.” Sobs tore through me, making my body shake violently, but good God, why couldn’t she see that!? “How do you not blame me?!” I screamed, my voice raw and ragged, and before I blinked, Jaxon was in front of me, his chest a blockade, keeping Charlie out of my line of sight, and his arms came around me.

He squeezed me so hard my ribs almost cracked, and he didn’t say anything.

He just held me until I finished cracking. I sobbed and I clawed at him and I screamed with all of my might.

“This was my fault!” I clung to his shirt and tore at it, my feeble strength doing nothing to fibers that were stronger than me. “This was because of me.”

His hold tightened, but still he said nothing.

And I was thankful for it, because nothing would help. There was nothing they could say to change the reality.

Good men had died for me.

Because of me.

And I would never forgive myself for it.

* * *

“Shawn Blakely? Joshua Beaucort?”

I jolted from my chair. Jaxon had held me until I cried so hard I couldn’t stand on my own. He had guided me back to the chair, gripped my hand, shoved my head to his shoulder, and said one word: “Rest.”

Apparently I had, because when he moved, I jumped again and finally registered the doctor in front of us. He took one look at me and grimaced, and I dragged my own gaze down my body where blood had darkened and hardened against my skin.

Shit.

“We’re here for Shawn and Cort,” Jaxon said, pulling me next to him.

A warm, small hand gripped my other one, and my head whipped in that direction only to see Charlie. She gave me a sad smile before the doctor cleared his throat.

“Your friend, Cort, is awake. The shot he took went straight through his shoulder, but he’s going to be fine. Lost a lot of blood, and moving after he was injured didn’t help, but he’s strong. He came through surgery just fine, and if one of you wants to see him, you can once we get him moved up to his room.”

“Good,” Jaxon said, nodded. “Shawn?”

The doctor blinked, and his gaze slid across Charlie and me before returning to Jaxon, leaving a wave of sadness in its wake.

“Your friend Shawn…”

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