Page 100 of Love Me Gently

“We’ve all grown and changed, sweetie,” Heather said. “Kari, right along with the rest of us heathens.”

Trina chuckled, and then glanced at Ashley. “Any more surprises for us?”

“Not from me,” she quipped, and then leaned in and rested her hand on Trina’s forearm. “I should have told you, but I guess…Kari and I have talked over the years. She’s grown a lot, and she’s kinder now. I knew that’d be hard, but you were worried about meeting me, and you didn’t need to be. I just wanted to show you how much you’re loved, how much you’ve always been loved.”

It was a hell of a way to orchestrate it, but I couldn’t blame Ashley for wanting to give that goodness to Trina when all I wanted to do was the same.

“I need a minute,” she whispered, and slid off the stool. “I’ll be back, but I need a minute alone.”

“Trina—” I warned. Wetalkedabout this.

“Rocco’s watching,” she said, “Jim’s out back. I get what you’re saying, but I just need a minute to get my head on straight. Okay?”

The last thing I wanted to do was let her out of my sight, but I relented. We were safe in Max’s, and she had eyes on her everywhere. “Okay. Take the time you need.”

She curled her hand around my shoulder and squeezed it tight. A strange look crossed her face as she scanned mine and then her tongue appeared before she ran her lips together.

I knew that look. I’d seen it on her a thousand times, anddamn…it wasn’t only shocking, but turned my blood to a simmering heat.

She was staring at me like she wanted to kiss me. Or climb onto my lap and hold on to me. All things I’d allow. If I wasn’t trying to be so cautious with her, I’d stand and give her exactly what that look suggested. Instead, I curled my hand over hers, brought it to my lips, and kissed the back of her hand.

And then I watched every step she took to the back of Max’s, until she disappeared down the hall and swung my gaze toward Rocco who was doing the exact same thing.

Confirmation she’d be safe, for however long she needed, I finally turned back to the bar.

From the other side, Heather stated, “You’re still in love with her.”

I shrugged and grabbed my water. “It’s Trina.”

Thirty-Five

Trina

I couldn’t wait to get to the moment where life stopped throwing me curveball after curveball. Where it settled and I stopped being thrown for a loop every time someone from my past approached. Where I quit feeling regret bubble to the surface and when I was able to stop living in fear.

It’d take time, I knew that. I just wanted to be able to go about my day without waiting for the proverbial monster to jump out from around the corner.

I used the restroom, washed my hands, and then turned the faucet to ice cold. Shoving my hands and wrists under the water, I scrubbed them together until the icy chill distracted me from my spinning thoughts.

Done, I rested my back against the wall and closed my eyes. This would stop.

It would all stop soon.

I was doing the work to leave the past where it belonged. I was strong enough to leave Jonathan for good. I was healing. I was working on all of it, and maybe Ashley and Cole were right. The sooner I realized people loved me and didn’t hold the past against me, the sooner I’d start feeling the same. Maybe.

Time.

I just needed more time.

I opened my eyes. I might need more time, but tonight I had friends. I had people who were good to me. I had Cole, who kissed me like he trulydidstill love me, and not the girl I used to be. He kissed me like he saw the woman in front of him even if I wasn’t so sure who that woman was anymore, or who she was becoming.

What if…?

What if she could become whatever she wanted, craft a new dream, create a new life? One that wasn’t held back by all my regrets and fears, but focused on something different?

A soft smile curved my lips. I started at the reflection, at the face reflected. The smile, that maybe, for the first time since I left this town, contained hope, held true, real-life hope. “I can do this, and eventually, it will be okay.”

For the first time, the night didn’t feel so dark and the days ahead not so difficult.

---