Page 50 of Love Me Gently

“I’d like to take you somewhere today,” I said instead.

She blinked at me. “No.”

“It’d be good for you to get out. I’m not saying go walk around in public, but I’d like to take you for a drive. See something outside these walls.”

“Is this a trick?”

“No.” I shook my head and took a step back closer to the doorway. I’d like to tell her I’d throw her over my shoulder and haul her out there if I had to but had to remember what she’d been through. A joke right now about doing something against her will would be the least respectful thing I could say, no matter how badly I wanted to make her. “Choice is yours, but be warned…I’ll keep pestering you every day until you agree.”

Trina bit into a piece of toast and chewed. The bite was the size of something a mouse would eat and yet she chewed on it like she’d shoved the whole piece into her mouth. I should probably stop giving her bread and bacon altogether. All she usually ate were the egg whites, anyway.

“A car ride.” She stated it like fact, and I nodded.

“Thirty minutes. No tricks.”

“And then you’ll leave me alone for the rest of the day?”

Goodness. We were bartering like I was making her doing something painful—like try oysters—and I’d never forget the expression she made, or the color she turned, when she finally did. But hell, maybe this was how she survived.

I really needed to see if she’d called any of the therapists yet. Doubted that too, but it was the reminder of how hurt she’d been that had me keep my tone light.

“Sure.” I’d try, anyway.

“Okay then.”

She speared the last bite of egg whites with her fork and set that back on her tray. “I’m done now.”

Two egg whites. A nibble, if it could be considered that, of plain toast. No bacon. This wasn’t ameal, and there was no way she could be full.

“Fine.” I moved toward her, caught the tightening of her arms as I reached across her and grabbed the tray, and picked it up. She did that every time I came close. Was it because she thought I was some threat? Or was it habit? Either way, every one of these small reminders were stark realizations she wasn’t the same vibrant, adventure-seeking girl I used to know.

I needed to tread carefully, and that sucked when I’d spent the rest of my life bulldozing through everything else I wanted.

“We’ll leave in an hour. Is that okay?”

“It’s fine.”

Trina wasn’t looking at me, not surprising. She rarely did. She was looking at the blank television screen. As far as I knew, she hadn’t yet turned it on even though the remote was on her nightstand. She just stared at the black television screen all day.

Maybe the exercise she was doing was at least something good for her. Or would have been, had it not been cloaked with the thoughts that Jonathan would come back and beat the shit out of her again.

“Okay then.”

I headed out of her room, up the stairs, and to the kitchen. As much as I wanted to take out my anger and frustration on my plates and slam them into the dishwasher, I didn’t want to alarm her, so I stayed quiet, grabbed my phone and went out to the back deck where I stood, staring off into trees and did nothing until my temper cooled.

Nineteen

Trina

The world around me was a fog, darkening and pressing into every side instead of lifting with the morning sun and heat. Ever since I opened my eyes in the hospital and saw Cole, everything was different.

Not better.

Not worse.

Dreamlike.

If I allowed myself to believe I was free of Jonathan, my reality would come crashing down on me and I’d be back to my forever torment.

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