Page 59 of Love Me Gently

“If I could go back and do it all over again, knowing what I know now…I’d kill myself right along with it.” His entire body flinched and swung back, but he couldn’t be surprised by that. “Thanks for the phone. I want to sleep now.”

I rolled to my side, closed my eyes, and pretended he didn’t stand there silently watching me for a long time. Pretended I didn’t give him a glimmer into the kind of person I truly was.

“You give me a chance, you have any inkling of a desire to be happy, I’ll get you to a place where you want to live again. I swear it.”

The door closed. The stairs creaked.

I doubted with every fiber in my being that would ever be possible again. But as I fell asleep, there was a glimmer.

A tiny shimmer of a thought floated by on a breeze that asked,but what if you did?

Twenty-Two

Cole

I tossed and turned all night. Probably slept in thirty-second increments before Trina’s words came back to haunt me, over and over again.

I would have killed myself.

I died that day.

He wasn’t the first.

That one. Among all the others. The fact she couldn’t see how she’d been used or taken advantage of, that she didn’t truly go into whatever happened to her with her eyes open andchooseit. I’d been in law enforcement long enough to see the ugliest sides of people, to see abusers at their worst. Men who took what they wanted either through power exchanges, coercion, or force—or a combination of the three.

All through the night, her words rattled my brain, leaving me exhausted,furious, and ready to fly to New York and Georgia and have my vengeance on the men who beat her down so badly she was terrified of taking one single step to get back up.

Eggs bubbled in the pan, fried egg whites only since Trina had yet to eat a single yolk. Bacon sizzled and even though I knew she wouldn’t eat the toast, that too was in the toaster. I had coffee ready, orange juice on the counter. I’d get her eating. I’d get her smiling. I’d get her finding a single shred of hope inside of herself to cling to, and I’d work on it for as long as it took.

A woman like Trina, a girl who’d had such huge dreams, an even larger heart for people, and a foundation that was built on everything good and pure and sweet deserved to crave a life that was at minimum, filled with peace and not despair or self-hatred.

Bacon done, I used the tongs and gathered the slices on the paper towel-lined plate. Turning to put it on the plate next to Trina’s breakfast tray, I froze.

Tongs in one hand, plated bacon in the other, I stood there, unable to say a single word. Too afraid if I moved, she’d disappear.

Trina stood on the other side of the counter, hair brushed, eyes sleepy but alert.

At least one of us got some sleep last night.

She was also dressed in an outfit Valerie had sent with us. And I knew it was one of Valerie’s because it was far too high-quality to have come from Target or TJ Maxx.

“Hey,” I finally said, startling myself back to life. “Morning.”

She pushed her lips to the side and scanned my kitchen. “I thought I’d eat up here if that’s okay.”

It was far better than okay. It was a miracle considering her state last night.

“Of course it’s okay.”

I set down the bacon, and turned back to the eggs. Once hers and mine were done in separate pans, and the toast had popped, I gathered everything and plated it at the counter.

I stayed on my side of the counter while Trina hesitantly slid into a stool across from me. She sipped her coffee. I added cream to mine. She played with her egg whites while I devoured my entire plate.

“Where are your kids?” she asked, moving her eggs around her plate.

“Their mom’s house.”

“Marie?”

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