Page 68 of Love Me Gently

“She married Robbie. They’re foster parents too. They’ve adopted one child and currently have three siblings with them in their care.”

“That’s amazing,” she whispered. “Ashley would be good at that. She was always so…soft.”

“Still is. She teaches at the high school with your sister.”

“You’re still friends with all of them then?”

“Yeah.” I scratched the back of my neck. “Robbie and I, definitely. We see each other all the time. The four of us…Marie and I and them used to hang out pretty regularly.”

“Oh.” Her lips formed a perfect O. “Is she…what does she think about all this? Me…and well…”

“She’s a good woman, like I’ve said, and I wasn’t all that great to her, and some of those things are only now becoming clearer, like hanging out with Ashley and Robbie so much with her. She was hurting for a long time, and I’m only now getting how hard being married to me was. That’s my fault, though, and if she gets mad at anyone, guarantee it’ll be me, but even then, Marie’s a good person, and she’s not bitter or anything.”

Her eyes trailed to my large windows. Outside was dark, pitch black except for the occasional twinkling of house lights through the branches. Soon we’d be seeing ski lifts moving and their lights shining bright until the lifts closed at night, but for now, those were dark, too.

“You all did exactly what you wanted. And are happy.”

“We all have our days.” Before she tunneled back into the empty void, which I could see flickering at the edges of her eyes, leeching away the color in her skin, I held out my hand. “Can I show you something?”

Her head turned to me; eyes wide. “What?”

“Something. Come with me.” I wiggled my fingers.

Slowly, she set her glass down on the table next to her and stood.

It didn’t escape me that she didn’t take my hand, and I let it fall to my lap before I stood.

“Where?”

“You been outside much yet?” Since I now knew she lurked, at least in my daughters’ room, she probably had.

“No. I didn’t want to be seen.”

As if that could happen. Not here.

I led the way to the sliding back door and flicked on the lights. A string of white Christmas lights lit up outside, draped and wound all over the deck railings and from poles settled equal distances apart. They created a soft glow, but not bright enough to take away what I wanted to show her.

Thank goodness it wasn’t cloudy.

Trina’s laugh was as bright as the lights as we stepped outside. “What are we doing out here?” She crossed her arms over each other and rubbed away the chill. “It’s cold and dark.”

“Maybe.” I gestured to the sky. “But see that? You’ve spent so much time in the city, I bet you forget what the stars look like.”

Her smile faded. I didn’t let her linger on her years living in cities. “I come out here at night. Morning. Doesn’t matter when, because I think you’ve forgotten this, too, but that’s okay. The point is, I come out here to be amazed. To think. To be reminded of my rightful place in the world.”

“And what’s that?”

I spun, head tipped to the dark sky, millions of flickering stars in the distance. “That we’re small. We’re insignificant. We’re vapor in the span of time.”

“How uplifting,” she muttered, but I swore there was a tease in it, so I turned to her, stone serious.

“We’ll all be gone in a blink, the good, the bad, the happy, the miserable. Life and fulfillment come from the decisions you make with the choices in front of you. You’ve had a lot of corrupt and wicked and horrible choices in front of you it sounds like, and I’m not judging you for that. But today, tomorrow, the day after—all you have to do is step onto a different path, make a different choice.”

I stepped toward her, careful not to reach out, not to take her hand, not to do anything that could wipe away the oddly-focused expression on her face. “You canchoosesomething that brings you happiness. It’s just one simple choice in the moment. That’s it.”

“I’m not sure I’m the best decision maker.”

“Then lean on the people who love you to help you.”

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