Page 69 of Love Me Gently

She blew a breath into her hands and then scrubbed them together. I barely felt the chill, but it’d been years since she’d lived in the cold, so I didn’t blame her. “You think I should call my parents.”

I shrugged. “Not sure there’s anyone out there who loves you more than them.”

Except for maybe me. But I’d pressed that enough.

She turned toward the railing, her profile to me, head tipped up to the sky, and I decided to give her all the time out there to think about what I said.

But I left her with a lifeline, and hopefully, she’d choose to grab on to it.

“No one hates you, Trina. No one’s mad at you. They’re all worried and sad, but anyone in this town you reach out to for help, they’ll break their backs and their necks to help you heal. I think if you take a second to truly remember the community and family you came from, you’ll stop being so scared about how they’ll react, because you already know.”

Twenty-Five

Trina

I chickened out. I stared at my phone after Cole left for work again. After I joined him for another breakfast. After I didn’t bother offering to clean up once he started to do it himself like thelastplace he wanted me was in his kitchen. After I asked him if his days were busy, and he responded with a look that said it all. Deer Creek might have been growing, but it wasn’t exactly a metropolis, overflowing with constant crime. Still, I sensed he adored his job.

Who could blame him?

He was doing the very thing he’d dreamed of doing since he went to Deer Creek’s Spring Time Daze festival and not only got to go for a ride in one of our town’s cop cars, but went home with a shiny police badge sticker.

I couldn’t dwell on the fun we had as children though. The intimate moments we shared as we grew older. The distance that separated us before I left.

The days were counting down until his kids returned. The days were counting down on my ability to avoid everything, but changing course wasn’t always as simple as turning around.

The road behind me was paved with craters I couldn’t avoid. It was lined with destruction and darkness, so thorny and jagged, one wrong turn could slice the remaining parts of me in two. The path ahead wasn’t much brighter. Riddled with fears, a single misstep and I’d be thrown right off a cliff.

Which was why I couldn’t call my parents.

Not yet. Not until I made other calls first.

Which was why I was still staring at my phone, the contact number pulled up. Spending time with Mrs. P hadn’t been bad. It’d actually been enjoyable. Sure, there’d been moments of awkwardness and times when I caught her looking at me like she had something to say, but overall, I’d had fun.

Logically, I believed Cole. I doubted people hated me. That wasn’t my largest hurdle. The problem was I still hated myself, and that was a root I’d let burrow so deep inside of me no shovel could dig it out. I could tear off the stems and offshoots, but that root would remain.

It’d taken years to stop having nightmares of the decision I made when I left Deer Creek, and by then, my nightmares were plagued with more horrifying memories. They still came, yanking me from sleep in a cold sweat almost nightly. Somehow, when I’d been living my nightmare with Jonathan in the bed next to me, they hadn’t come. But now, almost every night they clung to me. I couldn’t shake them, and it didn’t matter that my bruises healed a little more every day, or that my knee was improving and the pain in my ribs didn’t feel like a stab to my gut with every cough or sneeze.

The injuries inflicted on me by Jonathan were the least of the things I needed to move beyond.

Before I could talk myself out of it again, I pressedCall.

It rang twice, before she answered. “This is Dr. McElroy. How can I help you?”

“Doctor, hi, this is Katrina…Trina. Actually, it’s Trina.” Good grief. Even I didn’t know what to call myself anymore.

A whole new flood of nerves and fears crashed into me as the doctor’s soft sigh came through the phone.

“Good morning, how are you today? Is everything okay?”

At least if she noticed my nerves she ignored them. “No, well, yes. I mean, I’mfine, but I guess I do need your help.”

“What is it?”

“I, uh, well, I threw away the lists of therapists you gave me, and I guess I’d like to see if I can have another copy?”

There was a brief pause, followed by another pleased sound. “Of course, Trina.”

“I think maybe I’m ready, or closer I guess.”

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