Page 7 of Love Me Gently

He kissed me harshly, painfully…. passionately, and I reached out, covering his wrists with my hands so tightly I wanted us to meld together.

Right as I surrendered to the kiss, he yanked back, throwing my hands away from him.

“I will always love you.” He swiped the back of his hand across his face, wiping our kiss away. “I hate you. Right now, today, I hate you for this and for everything you’re doing, but despite everything, I will always love you.”

Without giving me a chance to say a word, he jumped into his truck.

I stood in the field and watched him throw the truck into reverse. I stayed still as he peeled out of the parking lot, the stench of rubber burning my nose as he turned down the street.

And once he was gone, his truck gone, and I knew he couldn’t see me, I crumbled to the ground and I sobbed.

Because I knew, even as I knew I had to do it, that I was throwing away the best thing that would ever happen to me in my entire life.

Five

Cole

Now

I droppedmy phone to the desk and buried my face in my hands. Life, man. It certainly had a way of kicking you while you were down. Some days I couldn’t believe where I was, other days, I didn’t dare look back.

“You all right?”

My partner, Eddy Ferentz, dropped into his chair, the creaking sound making his moves obvious.

I let out a groan and pushed back into my chair. “June’s mad at me. Again.”

June had been mad at me for the last two years. I kept hoping she’d adjust.

She kept wanting her dad and mom back together. Couldn’t blame my four-year-old daughter, but life didn’t give you what you wanted all the time. June was just learning it earlier than most.

And she wasnothappy about it.

“What was it today?”

I huffed. My little Junie bug’s tantrums were well known in the police department where I worked and had proudly served for the last eight years. “She wants ice cream and thinks it’sstupidI can’t take her out for some tonight.”

“They just went back to Marie’s yesterday.”

“And I’m sure Marie will take her out. She didn’t even ask for it when I had her.”

My custody arrangement was simple, much like my marriage had been, much like the divorce had also been. I didn’t blame Marie for leaving. The blame rested solely on my shoulders. I’d never fully loved her and we both knew it. She was the one smart enough to admit it out loud first. I had a week on, a week off, and if I was called in for a case while I had the girls, either Marie helped out or my family did.

My girls didn’t lack for family in their lives, but Junie wanted her dad. In her home. With her mommy.

“It’s not cool of Marie to keep calling and telling you these things.”

It wasn’t. When I had Ella or June for my week and they got sad, I handled it. Marie had always been softer than me, more of a pushover. She couldn’t help herself from trying to please everyone, and nothing broke her more than alligator tears on one of our girl’s round cheeks.

“June’s a daddy’s girl,” I told him and then blew out a breath and shook my head. “It’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. She’ll adjust.”

Parents divorced. Kids adjusted. Junie needed more time. She was my mini-me in all the ways. When I’d have football on, Ella and Marie would paint their nails and read books or go shopping. Junie would fling her tiny body at mine while we played indoor footballwith me on my knees. The game usually ended with her on my back, me running around the house, while she single-handedly declared herself the winner.

She had no idea I was the true winner. I had two beautiful girls I couldn’t live without. I won hands down. Every time.

But I wasn’t about to pop Junie’s balloon and tell her that.

“Paxton.”

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