Page 88 of Love Me Gently

“Girls,” Cole said. “You keep chattering about cakes and you’ll never get to say hi to Miss Trina.”

“Oh! You’re daddy’s new friend!” June shouted.

“Junie bug, this is Miss Trina.”

“Hello!”

“Hi.” The second greeting came quieter with a hint of uncertainty in it, and as I turned to face Ella, she was looking out the front windshield.

A quick peek told me her mom was still standing there, and she wasn’t sure how to treat me.

“Hi, Ella. Your dad has told me how lovely you are.” I looked to June so she didn’t feel left out. “You too, Sunshine.”

“Sunshine! I love the sun!” the girl shouted.

Ella sank back into her booster seat and buckled up. “Thank you,” she said. It was quiet and quickly drowned out by June starting on a story about the beach when Cole grabbed my attention.

“I need to give Marie a quick update about what happened today and grab their bags. You good in here with them?”

“Sure, she’s good!” June shouted. “She wants to hear all about my stories, Daddy!”

“Go,” I whispered, to him, but I doubt he heard me.

June was off and running, stories to be told, and a captivated listener trapped in front of her.

The afternoon was a whirlwind.If the morning started off terrible and worrisome, there was no room left to think of any of it with June and Ella around. June seemed intent on using every word in the English vocabulary at least a dozen times, and Ella, while seemingly content to listen to her sister prattle on and on with little annoyance or frustration, was sweet in her own way.

By the time we were sitting down to dinner, where Cole had whipped up tacos, Ella took the lead in setting the table, and June filled everyone’s glasses with water from the fridge, after grumbling that it wasn’t her turn.

Somehow, I was starting to think June thought nothing was her turn to do unless it was something she wanted to do. The girl was the Energizer Bunny on steroids, and we were all along for her unending, boundless energy path she carved….but she was adorable. So stinking adorable.

Ella, on the other hand, was the calm to June’s storm. I caught her glancing at me through the day, like she was trying to figure me out, so I stayed back and let Cole take the lead, perfectly content to be a visitor.

Which was exactly what I was.

This wasn’t my house.

This wasn’t anything except a brief stop in time, and I knew, soon, I’d have to start figuring out those next steps myself. Fortunately, it wasn’t anything I could think of with June at the kitchen table.

“Who’s ready for school tomorrow?” Cole asked.

Ella grinned. “I get to be star of the week tomorrow. Mommy spent all day helping me make a poster of all my favorite things. You’re on it, too, Daddy.”

Cole chuckled and pointed his fork at his little girl sitting to his right. “I better be one of your favorite things.”

A sweet, soft smile bloomed on her cheeks and tears sparked my eyes that I quickly pushed away. He was adad. I could have been the one who worked on a star of the week poster with him, our children…so many eons ago, but it was moments like this, with such precious kids around me, the reality of the decision I made all those years hit hard and wasn’t so quickly brushed aside.

I sniffed and looked down at my plate, while June said something about her school.

I sat back, finished my tacos and when I was done and glanced up, I caught Cole’s gaze on me.

One arched brow asked the questions I couldn’t answer.

Are you okay?

No… I didn’t really think I was.

But maybe someday, I’d get there.

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