Page 100 of Love Me Boldly

“New skatesandno bath? It’s like Christmas! You should be hereall the time,Mr. Graham!”

He picked up his box and took it to the living room, having no idea that was what I would love most, too.

Something told me I only had to be brave enough to ask for it.

I stood and helped clear the plates and take them into the kitchen. It was around the corner from the living room, giving us a moment of privacy.

“You okay?” I asked Holly as I stood next to her near the sink. “That seemed like more than happy tears.”

“It’s…I knew he’d love the new skates. I didn’t ever think he realized…you know? That he doesn’t get new stuff like the other kids?”

“Come here.” I pulled her in for a hug. “He’s an incredible kid, Holly. His excitement and awe over that just shows how well you’re doing with him. He doesn’tneednew things, but he appreciates them.”

“But I want to be able to give him everything he wants.” She sniffed against my T-shirt and slowly draped her arms around my lower back. “Sometimes it sucks knowing I can’t do that, no matter how hard I try.”

“Hey. That’s because you’re a good mom. He sees that. He loves you.”

“I know.” She pulled back. “I love him, too. So stinking much. It’s so weird sometimes when I look at him and think I’ve raised him, that he’s my son…but also my brother. Sometimes I just want to be the fun big sister, but I have to be the mom, too. It’s so weird.”

“Does he know?”

She shook her head and flipped on the water to start rinsing plates. “No. I don’t want him to. Not now when he’s too young to understand. I don’t want him to have to carry the burden of knowing our mom didn’t want him, either. But when he’s older, probably? He’s asked me why I don’t have a mom and why he doesn’t have a dad, so we’ve talked about her some, but it’s so heavy. I want to spare him all of that.”

“That’s what makes you a good momandbig sister, you know. You’re looking out for him.”

“He’s an easy kid to love.”

“So is his mom…hisrealone. The one who’s been there for him.”

I hadn’t meant to say it. It slipped out. Based on the way her jaw unhinged, she hadn’t expected to hear it. But the truth was out. Holly had a grip on me and my heart since the first night I met her. She lit up my life when I needed to shed my own pain. Losing her had brought it all back tenfold, for so much longer, and I wasn’t sure I ever shook it away again fully.

At least not until I saw her again.

There was no point in hiding it.

“Mr. Graham!” Jonah shouted. “They fit! Come see!”

“Saved again,” I muttered.

THIRTY-TWO

HOLLY

“Can Mr. Graham come listen to my bedtime story tonight?” Jonah was in his pajamas, teeth brushed, and ready for bed.

I’d spent every moment after dinner trying not to hold too tightly to the words Graham said. It wasn’t an official declaration of love, but it was close enough, and we both knew it. I wouldn’t dismiss it, but I had to figure out what to do with it.

Graham still loved me. I wasn’t even sure how that was possible after all these years. It’d only been a week since he appeared in front of me, and everything was changing so quickly.

“I’d love that,” Graham said, and of course he would. He loved everything these days.

“What story?”

“My favorite one,” Jonah declared, and my cheeks immediately burned with embarrassment. They were doing that a lot these days. And all of them were because of Graham. “Oh, well…how about we tell a different one?”

“No! I want him to hear it.” He turned to Graham. “Mama’s an excellent storyteller. She reads books super fun, too, makes all the people have different voices, but her own stories are the bestest.”

“Well, I think I need to hear this bestest story then.”

---