“I got tears all over your shirt,” I muttered.
“They’ll dry. Stay here.”
He got up, went to the bathroom, and when he returned, he had a box of tissues and some makeup remover wipes. Then he went to the kitchen and brought back another bottle of water.
“In the business of ruining women’s makeup?” I asked, holding up the pale blue plastic packet.
“No, smart aleck. I use them. They’re not so bad for a quick wash when I don’t have time.”
A guy who paid attention to his skin care?
Oddly attractive. Definitely impressive.
He gave me a few minutes to clean up, blow my nose, and was lounging on the couch like nothing happened. Like I hadn’t fallen apart in his arms.
“So, I take it your dad wasn’t so great after?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Weirdly enough, for as much as he hated my mom doing drugs and her addiction, he didn’t care or notice his own. His drug was alcohol, though…but it was what it was. He couldn’t live without her, and he collapsed.”
“You’ve been on your own a long time then, huh?”
As he asked, he reached out and covered his hand with mine. Pushing his fingers against mine, his filled the spaces between mine and then closed both of our hands into an entwined fist.
“I guess,” I whispered. The warmth from his hand holding mine spread up my arm, sent warmth to my neck, my cheeks, and down to my lower stomach. I tried to pull away, and he held on tighter.
“My mom died when I was sixteen,” he said, and it was so low I almost missed it.
“What?”
“Yeah. Cancer. She was diagnosed and then gone in six months, and it wasn’t a pretty six months, either. But that’s one of the reasons I came here for school. Her sister is the one who works on campus. She practically became my second mom after she died.”
“And yet, you’re not falling apart talking about it like I did.”
He reached up and brushed hair off my cheeks and curled his around the back of my neck. My lips parted with surprise as he tugged me closer to him, not nearly close enough to kiss, but if I scooted toward him. If I leaned to the right a bit…
“I got help and had healthy outlets to deal with it, Holly. I have a feeling you didn’t have that.”
“No,” I whispered. “I didn’t have that.”
His smile was soft, understanding. “I was also given the benefit of being able to say goodbye. To say all the things I needed to. To hear all the things she wanted to teach me. I’m sorry you haven’t gotten that, either.”
“Thank you.” More tears burned. How did hegetme? How was it possible this boy I met right before I got evicted from a bar I practically lived in while my dad drank his beers and I did my schoolwork couldseeme so much better than anyone?
He was right about everything. I hadn’t had any of it. Caroline tried, but she and Paul had never been able to have kids, and the restaurant was her whole life. Mothering wasn’t her instinct. Cooking was.
But I had this. This moment in time where there wasn’t judgment in his eyes. Where I didn’t see pity, only the deep well of understanding that could only come from a similar pain.
And it was for that reason I opened my mouth and told him, “You should know that that girl you like really likes you back.”
“Yeah?” A corner of his mouth kicked up before he licked his bottom lip. “Then that girl should know I’m probably going to kiss her.”
I chuckled, and then I was silenced. He leaned down and pressed his mouth to mine. His lips teased mine slowly and were as warm as the rest of him. His grip on me was strong. He unlinked our hands together and cupped both of my cheeks as he kept kissing. Kept teasing.
But he didn’t push it farther. Didn’t even slip his tongue inside. Didn’t do anything more than kiss my lips and press his hands to my cheeks, and it was beautiful.
It was sincere and gentle. It was slow, and I had no doubt that while he kissed me, he wanted to do so much more but held himself back to gain my trust.
Which was probably what had me handing it to him without him even knowing.