Page 41 of Love Me Boldly

They cranked up music on the sound system, and then they threw Graham under the bus with all sorts of stories of things he did on hockey trips, and in less than an hour, The Premier Grille was spotless, the silverware all wrapped in napkins for the morning shift. The dishes were washed and dried and put away, and everything in our salad bar was prepped and back in the refrigerator for the next day.

Graham and I had even had time to go to the back and chop extra vegetables for morning omelets.

Caroline had locked up and waved goodbye with a relieved smile on her face. “You guys can come visit anytime. Next time I might even give you some tips.”

The guys thanked her for allowing them to hang out, and said the help was no problem.

We’d saved her hours of morning work, which meant she wouldn’t have to show up until nine, giving her precious hours of sleep.

“Not tonight,” I whispered, but man, I wished things were different.

“I’m guessing your dad’s not the kind of guy to allow you sleepovers.”

My dad. Right. Of course that’s what he assumed. My dad wouldn’t have ever noticed if I had company, much less sleepovers in the last few years, but that wasn’t why I wouldn’t let him see where I lived.

My trailer was rotten compared to his own apartment. The only thing we had in common with our living arrangements was that we lived alone.

“You guys need to get back to school,” I said so I didn’t have to mention my dad. He was a topic I wasn’t ready to approach.

“Someday, you’re going to open up more, aren’t you?” His eyes scanned mine, dark pools with tiny flecks of gold I could barely see in the darkness. They peered straight into my soul, like by looking at me this way he’d discover everything.

“Opening up isn’t easy for me.”

“I know, and I get it, I do, but I feel like you have one foot ready to leave, and the other isn’t exactly standing on steady ground.”

I chuckled. “That’s kind of my entire life at the moment, Graham.”

He grinned, but it vanished quickly, and there was no warmth in it. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this, Holly. Just…be honest with me? Don’t screw with me.”

A sarcastic retort filled my throat, but I choked it down. This was the time to walk away, free and clear. I couldn’t. His expression was too earnest. His words too honest. I should have…right then. I should have pulled out my phone and blocked him and sent him on his way.

I didn’twantto, despite all the signs being there that I should.

“I’ll be honest,” I finally said. “And I’m sorry. I’m interested. I like you, but we’re also graduating, and who knows where life will take us.”

“Good thing teachers and finance majors can get jobs anywhere, then, huh?”

Oh God. He meant that, too. My heart squeezed with the thoughts of it. That he was thinking of this…our future. “We’ve known each other for two months, Graham.”

I meant it to come out as a tease, but my tone was flat, and there was a bite to it I didn’t expect.

His hands fell from my cheeks, and his jaw worked back and forth. “Right. Good night, then.”

Damn it. I was screwing this up.

“I’m sorry,” I said, and then said it again, louder, loud enough that Tanner and Eli arched their brows in our direction, and Tracey turned to face me. She was frowning, like she knew I was messing this up. Of course I’d mess it up.

I was a Jones. It’s what we did with our lives.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said and reached for his arm. Graham turned, and his sad expression made me flinch. “I mean, itistrue, I guess…I don’t know. I was surprised you were thinking that way.”

“I don’t really like messing around. I tend to be the kind of guy who sees what he wants and goes for it.”

“And that’s what you want.”

Me. Him. And man, I could see it, too. A hazy dream flashed in my mind of him teaching kids hockey lessons, me enjoying watching while sipping on hot chocolate in the stands. Us playing house. Living in the suburbs somewhere where my past and my parents weren’t a part of my life.

For the first time in my life, dreaming wasn’t terrifying.

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