Page 45 of Love Me Boldly

“I only went to court once,” I reminded Tracey. She’d followed it online, but the three-day trial hadn’t exactly been national news. It was all over the local television, though, but my dad didn’t have much of a defense.

He was drunk.

She was the governor’s daughter on a weekend ski trip with her family over the New Year’s holiday weekend.

One day she was there. That night she went into town to grab some snacks for her family to take back to their Airbnb mountain rental home, and then she was dead.

I went on the day of the opening arguments, sat in the far back corner, and left as soon as I could. My father never knew I was there and didn’t seem to care either way.

He was sentenced immediately following his trial, and I’d met him at the courthouse in the holding area before he was taken away to the prison near Durham. He hadn’t bothered to give me a hug, not that he really could with his hands and ankles handcuffed, but I hadn’t expected it. Nope. After telling me this was all a bunch of bullshit, his parting words to me were, “Make sure you put money in my account.”

“What do I do?” I asked her and got up to get some water. I could guzzle the entire town’s water supply, and my throat would still hurt. My chest would still feel the weight of everything that was coming.

“Talk to him,” Tracey suggested.

Laughable. “Sure. I’ll do that. That sounds like a fun time. ‘Hey, you know that girl you were friends with your whole life? Yeah, well she’s dead because of my dad, so…wanna make out?’”

Tracey sighed. “Maybe leave the make out part out of it?”

“It doesn’t matter, Trace. Whatever we had was gone.”

“It doesn’t have to be. He really likes you, Holly. You’ve never opened up to someone the way I’ve seen you do with him. Maybe he’ll understand.”

Such optimism. I almost felt bad crushing it.

“He wasengagedto her, Tracey.”

Engaged or not didn’t matter. He still knew her.

He’d still cared about her.

Nothing I could do would change that, and once I told him the truth, nothing I could do would keep him.

THIRTEEN

HOLLY

I scrolled through my phone. It seemed I liked inflicting as much pain on myself as possible. Graham had left a dozen messages, more voicemails that I deleted immediately because I figured they said the same things as his texts.

It’s not what you think.

Damn it. Text me back.

I’ll explain.

Piper was wrong. She lied. And I’ve already yelled at her.

We were not engaged, Holly, I swear it.

Don’t block me over this.

That text had included a winking emoji after. I couldn’t bring myself to smile. After the first handful of texts, they trailed off to daily ones sent horrifically early in the morning.

My daily text to make sure I’m not blocked…

He was joking. He was worried about me and needed to be focused on his games and his life, and he had absolutely no idea what was waiting for him when he returned, and still, he was cracking jokes.

By Thursday, I caved. He’d be back in two days, and we had to have this conversation whether I wanted to or not, whether I was ready or not. I’d spent the week making my own decisions. It was better to end this now, quickly.

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