Page 69 of Love Me Boldly

“I should get going.”Graham was at the hostess stand.

Behind him was a buzz of activity. I’d sat with them for as long as I could, loath to walk away, but in the end, customers started coming in, and I needed to get to work. I stopped by and checked on them when time allowed, eventually bringing Graham a French dip sandwich and Jonah a bowl of ice cream, but it was late. My feet and lower back ached, Jonah was restless, and our nighttime servers were here to handle the late-night crowd and close up.

When I started working with Caroline, that was one of the things I insisted on. I handled mornings and would happily stay through dinner, but neither of us was going to kill ourselves working fourteen-hour days again. Not after her stroke.

She was already gone, trusting me and the assistant night manager, Cain, to take care of the rest.

“Heading home tomorrow?” I asked.

“Camp’s done, so yeah, I was planning on it.”

He stressed thewaslike maybe now he had options. I had to ensure one of those wouldn’t be me. “Okay.”

He shuffled on his feet and didn’t take his eyes off mine. “I’m finding it hard to think about leaving, Holly.”

“Don’t, Graham…” I shook my head. “We saw each other, we got caught up. Leave it at that.”

“I should. Shouldn’t I?” He tapped the side of his wallet onto the stand before slipping it into his back pocket. “The problem is walking away from you isn’t something that’s ever come easy for me, even when I know I should.”

I pressed my lips together harshly to stave off the sob clawing its way up my throat. This wasn’t fair. Not to me or to Jonah.

It definitely wasn’t fair to Graham.

“I think maybe it’s time you try a little bit harder,” I told him honestly. “I’m not at that place to give you anything.”

He frowned, taking it as the rejection it was intended to be. “Can I at least have a hug goodbye this time, then?”

I shook my head again. I couldn’t. If he had his arms around me, it was possible I could cave, let him draw me in all over again, and this time, the stakes were much higher. “I don’t think so.”

“All right then.” He sighed and glanced around the restaurant. “Place looks really good. Not sure if I said that yet, but to me it looks like a really nice life you’re building, Holly. I’m glad you have that.”

“Thanks,” I said, as tears swam in my eyes. I couldn’t even blink them back. “You should go.”

He saw the tears. He opened his mouth and then thought better of it. “Take care, Holly.”

“Bye, Graham.”

The sad smile he gave me as he turned and left the restaurant was a look I wouldn’t forget anytime soon.

It hurt almost as much as the last time he left, but just like last time, I was still confident it was the right decision.

* * *

“You good, little man?”

Jonah dragged his hockey bag out of my Honda Pilot, an upgrade from my Jimmy by twelve years, and dumped it on the garage floor. He had to walk over it to get into the house, and tomorrow, he’d still probably forget where he put it.

“Tired,” he grumbled. “So tired my eyes hurt.”

“We’ll get you in bed as soon as you get a bath.”

“Ugh. A bath?” His little body shivered with revulsion, and I opened the door to the house.

The trailer was gone, and we now lived in a small, three-bedroom townhome. The small neighborhood had a pool for summers and a playground where dozens of kids could always be found. It was tucked back off the main roads and far enough away there weren’t many tourists outside the two or three townhomes that went up for winter rentals, but even then it usually attracted families with small kids.

I suppose it was better for me as well, too. I had a nice home that I gave Jonah entirely on my own, but there were days I missed the quiet land around the trailer and the peace that came from seclusion…something I never thought I’d say, but I’d started finally falling in love with my run-down trailer when it was the place Jonah crawled for the first time and took his first steps.

His sudden arrival in my life flipped a switch, and my entire life perspective afterward changed. Where I’d once despised the rundown trailer, I started looking forward to cooking healthy meals in it. I smiled as I paced back and forth on the worn carpeting, rocking him while he cried himself to sleep. I smiled and felt a peace the first two years I decorated for Christmas, and then Jonah was old enough to help hang ornaments on the lowest branches.

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