Page 84 of Love Me Boldly

My shoulders fell. I took a peek around us to make sure it wasn’t anyone who cared about my life enough to listen. “He’s the friend from college, Trina. The one I told you about?”

“Theboy?”

“Boys are gross,” Junie chimed in around a mouthful of nuggets.

“Not Jonah, though,” Ella said and glared at her sister. “He’s nice. Fun, too.”

“Thanks, girls.” I turned back to Trina. “Yeah.”

“How’d this happen?”

I told her the story about camp, Graham showing up to eat afterward, and his plans for the rest of the summer. Her eyes widened with every new fact until they were as large as salad bowls before she finally blinked.

“Do you want my advice?”

“I have a feeling I’ll get it anyway.”

She giggled, and her gaze flicked to the girls before coming back to mine. “Take the risk, Holly. Trust me, I get the fear. I understand the need for self-preservation. I do, truly. Buttakethe risk. Not all of them end badly. I’m living proof that sometimes those risks end up with the greatest rewards.”

She tipped her head to the side. As if I needed the reminder that Ella and Junie were the best things to happen to her.

“It’s scary,” I admitted. “So few things have gone right for me.”

“I understand.” She grabbed Ella’s place mat, slipping it out from beneath the plate, and then grabbed a crayon. She scribbled something on the back and slid it toward me. “Trust me, Holly. I understand fear. I also know we can be afraid and do the scary thing anyway.”

Her fingernail tapped on the paper, and I looked down.

I’m pregnant.

Immediately tears burned my eyes, and I sniffed, careful to keep my tears hidden from Ella’s soulful gaze. Like Jonah, she saw too much and understood far more.

“Really?” I mouthed.

She pressed her lips together and smiled. There was a sheen in her own eyes as she nodded.

“Holly?” I jumped in surprise at Emma suddenly at the side of the table.

“Yes? What is it?”

“We need some help in the back. Jimmy’s having a hard time with the washer.”

“Okay.” Okay. I breathed out a breath to settle myself from the surprise of Trina’s announcement and all my fears swirling inside me. I slid out of the booth. “Guess it’s back to work,” I told Trina.

“Think about what I said.”

I promised her I would and headed to the back. I hadn’t meant to tell Trina everything, but a small whisper in my brain corrected me.Didn’t you?

Maybe I had. Maybe it was because I knew exactly what she’d say. Sometimes it still felt like I needed someone’s permission to try to have my life be more about surviving. That it was okay to want happiness.

The question was, was Graham the one who could help lead me there? Or was my upcoming doctor’s appointment going to send it all crashing back to the ground?

TWENTY-SEVEN

GRAHAM

Me: Taking a chance. Am I unblocked?

I sent the text late. When I got back into town, the parking lot to The Grille had been crammed full with trucks and cars and SUVs. Every part of me had screamed at me to turn in, to see her, to make her listen. Instead, I drove past. If she was busy, she wouldn’t want me there.

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