He stopped a foot away from us and waved. Nigga actuallywaved.
Markel started humming one of those crazy ass horror movie songs.
"I'd ask what you here for, but I think we all already know," Scoop said.
I raised an eyebrow. "Y'all do?"
He nodded hard as hell. "Expensive rentals, fancy clothes, high-end jewelry? Gotta be here for the class reunions, and since you didn't go to school here, you gotta be dating somebody who did. Only ladies I know who entertaining a group of men wearing a Patek, a Rolex, an Audemars Piguet and I do believe, a Vacheron Constantin are the Miller cousins."
No way in hell could my crew and I hide our shock as Scoop rattled off that list. His smile grew even wider.
"Wondering how ol' Scoop knows these things? Two reasons. One, my PawPaw was an old-school horologist. The best to ever do it and he taught me to dabble. Two, most of the Miller ladies are thick, and as any self-respecting country man can tell you, thick women got the best unda-yonda of them all."
"Yep," a man sitting close by and flipping through a magazine agreed.
"Sho' you right!" another one called out and a bunch of them started laughing hard as hell.
"Man, what the hell is unda-yonda?" Juvie asked, frowning.
"I'on even think I wanna know," I mumbled.
"Oh, my God, y'all! Come up here," Treecie said, looking like she felt sorry for us.
Apparently, unda-yonda translated into "under-yonder" and once Treecie also explained what "yonder" meant, I not only understood—I agreed with that shit completely. What Love had nestled under her soft stomach was fucking Heaven.
I agreed with a lot of stuff Scoop said once he volunteered to be our "tour-o" (that's just how he said it) guide through Main Street Emancipation, including leading us to the pharmacy that Love had mentioned. Scoop talked a lot, but he was a smart ol' cat with a good sense of humor and a lot of pride in his hometown and his people.
"Welcome to Ambrose's Amazing Apothecary and Accessories. That's Ambrose Drake."
Scoop pointed at the old ass man who suddenly announced loud as hell, "You gotta make sure these young men respect you, girly. He ain't ready for no glove, he ain't ready for no love!"
"And that, I believe," Scoop added, pointing at the shocked woman standing in front of Ambrose Drake, "is one of y’all’s young lady."
Pip grabbedmy hand as I started to dig in my bag, looking for a weapon to bop Mr. Drake right in his judgmental mouth. I was sickuh his shit. The rest of my family had spread out through the cute little store that was part pharmacy and part gift shop, but I could see Emory smirking at me from the vitamin section. I stuck my tongue out at her salty ass.
"Let me fuck him up," I hissed at Pip.
She shook her head. "You'on even need this. I'm telling you. I heard that man had you screaming, but he didn't knock your ass up this morning," she assured me.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "You don't know everything, Epiphany, and Mr. Drake about to learn--"
"Nah, Ev, don't do my OG dirty," an amused feminine voice tried to coax me.
The woman looked vaguely familiar with her heavily-lined eyes, matte black lipstick, and shock of black and magenta curls. The tag on her scrubs revealed that her name was Isis and the memory clicked. This was Mr. Drake's granddaughter who used to spend summers here. Isis was a little girly, a lot goth, and obviously was a pharmacist like her grandfather. She moved behind the counter and elbowed the old man in his side. I remembered why I had liked her so much.
"Gramps, what I done told you about putting people's business out there? You gon' get us sued and I need this legacy," she teased him.
He grunted. "As her pharmacist, I'm concerned with her reproductive health."
Isis scoffed. Snatching the box off the counter, she gently tossed it in my cart. "As her pharmacist, you just nosy! You know I gotta ask if you know how to take it and if you have any questions," she directed at me.
"I had it before. I'm good," I said.
"Good Lord, Everly Miller! How many times—” Mr. Drake's words stopped as Isis elbowed him again.
"Gramps, go doublecheck the count on the Viagra or something. But hey, ladies, I’m gonna find a last-minute date who attended Emancipation High. See y’all at the reunion tomorrow night?" she asked.
I nodded. "Definitely."