Page 28 of On Fire Island

Upstairs, she spent a long time in her room, trying to put some space between her and the uncomfortable interaction. She moisturized and powdered and slipped on a pretty white sundress. Downstairs, she found Gabe washing clams in the kitchen sink. He smiled when he saw her and rinsed off his hands.

“What happened back there?” he asked softly.

These millennials really know how to communicate.

“Nothing. I was worried about Matty coming home. He’s honestly seen enough this year.”

“But he works till the market closes, right? It didn’t feel like that.”

He paused, collecting his thoughts.

“I know that can be very intimate to a woman, and out there in broad daylight. I’m sorry. I should have asked you first.”

I understood what he was saying. There are few things more intimate than that.

She stepped up to the sink and began scrubbing a clam as if she were prepping it for surgery.

“It’s not that... I’ve never, I’ve never done that before.”

“Wait, what? You never did it with your husband in the outdoor shower? How long have you had this house?”

Renee could have left it there. But she was feeling oddly open.

“Not that.” She dropped the impeccably clean clam in the colander and looked Gabe right in the eye.

“I’ve never donethatbefore,” she said, motioning to her vagina, too embarrassed to even say the word.

“Oh,” he said, echoing my sentiments exactly. I knew that Tuck and Renee’s sex life was dull, but...

“Well, when I was young, I never felt close enough to someone to be that intimate, and Tuck didn’t do that,” she continued.

“What do you mean he ‘didn’t do that’?”

Renee blushed. She clearly couldn’t believe she was having this conversation out loud. Though it seemed like she’d had it in her head many times before.

“When we first got together, he said, ‘I just want you to know, I don’t go down on girls. It grosses me out.’ ”

Her admission made me wonder if Lola’s “screaming” was performative.

“That’s what he said?” the drummer asked.

“Yes, that’s what he said,” Renee confirmed.

“And you married him?”

Renee laughed, shook her head, and changed the subject.

“I have a delicious Greek wine to go with this.”

“That sounds perfect,” he said, pulling her toward him and kissing her gently on the side of her neck.

seventeen

Lanai

On the seventh day of shiva, Ben noticed that the candle had finally burned out. He wondered what to do with it; it didn’t feel right to just toss it. He thought about throwing it in the ocean so that it would become beach glass one day. I liked that idea.

That’s great, baby, do that.

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