Page 43 of On Fire Island

They all laughed and crooned together, “ ‘To lay before the king, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum.’ ”

Inspired by the Christmas spirit, I imagine, Shep proudly announced, “I’ll do it! I’ll get the rubber in town!”

Ben quickly put a pin in it. “You’re going to walk into the Ocean Beach market and ask for a condom?”

“Yup. What’s the big deal, Scrooge?”

“You really understand the repercussions of this?”

“Maybe word will get out that I am interested in the premenopausal set!”

Their faces reflected their doubt. Shep reaffirmed his resolve.

“I got this. Battle conditions! I’ll get in, do my best, and get out.”

He placed his plate on the ground for Sally, then raised his hand in the air like Napoleon leading the troops to Waterloo.

“To town!”

The three men jumped on their bikes and rode off, with Shep leading them in their new battle hymn as they pa-rum-pum-pum-pummed all the way there.

twenty-six

Whack-a-Mole

It was a Monday night, when town is usually desolate, and tonight was no exception. Matty and Ben sat on the bench outside of OB Trading while Shep did the deed. The weather was unseasonably cool, and none of them had thought to grab a sweatshirt. They sat closer than usual on account of it. The physical intimacy seemed to beget emotional intimacy.

“So, is this like your first love, or is it just a sex thing?”

“I don’t know. To be honest, this is all Dylan’s idea. I mean, we really only started messing around last summer ’cause we had covered every other inch of this place.”

“That’s kind of funny.”

“I guess.”

Ben paused. His expression got serious.

“I know Dylan is pretty headstrong, I mean, is this what you want too?”

Matty responded just how he did when Dylan asked him. “Yeah, sure.”

Ben may be onto something, I thought. Matty wasn’t very convincing.

“Do you have any questions? I mean, I know you’re not tight with your dad right now.”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ve seen porn.”

“Yeah, it’s not really like it is in the movies, Matty. Don’t expect to be moving heaven and earth.”

Matty was listening intently, now. Seeing Ben as a father figure definitely tugged at my heart. I hoped he still had the chance, or took the chance, I should say, to become a dad. I worried he would never get there again. He continued with his version of a sex talk, and as with most things, there were plenty of sports references thrown in.

“Later on, maybe, but the first time, the first time is pretty rudimentary, not a lot of moaning and groaning... and you won’t need much time.... It’s kind of like, keep your eye on the ball, make contact, and boom! Maybe one moan.”

This from the man who wrote...

Erin lay spent at day’s end, thinking back to making love to Patrick in the fields, their breath fast, their flesh warm and wet. She slipped her hand beneath her stockings and moved her fingers as he had until she climaxed, burying her face into the ground as if to inject the sound of her ecstasy into the earth.

Shep walked out with three bananas—and as far as I could see, no condoms.

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