Page 103 of Theoretically Straight

Theo bolts upright in his bed, his dark hair sticking out in a dozen different directions. “What–how did–why didn’t you tell me you were coming over?”

I make my way over to the foot of his bed. “Because you would have told me not to risk it, but I would have done it anyway, so I just decided to cut out the middleman.” Sinking a knee into the mattress, I lean forward to kiss him on top of his head. “But if you’d rather I leave, I’m sure I can tell Lola to turn around and come get me–”

Theo’s arms wrap around me, pulling me into a bone-crushing embrace. He buries his face, saying something that gets muffled against my chest.

“What–hey! That tickles!”

He looks up, resting his chin against me. “I said there’s no way I’m letting you go now.”

I run my fingers through his tangled hair. “That’s what I thought.”

“I said there’s no way I’m letting you go now.”

“That’s what I thought,” Caleb says, running gentle fingers through my hair, sending electricity across my entire being. I feel like crying again, which I’m surprised is even possible, given how much I’ve cried over the past twelve hours. It’s getting ridiculous.

But at least this type of crying is the good kind. The kind of crying that happens when you finally feel relieved. Loved. Safe.

Fuck, I’m so in love with him.

“So, how are you feeling?” Caleb asks. “You look a lot better than you did last night.”

I scoff, loosening my grip so that Caleb can sit next to me if he wants. “I mean, you literally saw me at my worst yesterday. I can only hope I look better today.”

Caleb sits on the bed with me—above the covers, always the gentleman—watching me with eyes full of concern and kindness. I can only imagine what he sees: my hair is definitely a disaster, my eyes probably have dark circles under them, and I have no idea what pajamas I ended up throwing on before collapsing in bed last night.

I suddenly realize that I haven’t brushed my teeth since last night, and that absolutely won’t do.

“Oh shit, let me, umm…I’ll be right back,” I mumble, awkwardly maneuvering the sheets off me and sliding out of the bed. Luckily, I had enough lucidity last night to at least put on some old gym shorts and a T-shirt without any holes. “Stay there. I’ll be back.”

“Okay,” Caleb replies, a question in his voice.

When I return with fresh breath, a washed face, and calmer hair, Caleb has moved so that he’s leaning against the headboard of my bed, still on top of the covers, but my nest of tangled sheets and blankets open for me beside him. The sight of him there—sitting like that in my bed, waiting for me to join him—immediately sends heat to my face and my stomach.

“You good?” Caleb asks with a crooked smile.

I take a deep breath, remembering why he’s here in the first place and trying to get my thoughts together. The fact that I’m so flustered pulls that old familiar guilt straight to the surface, and I wince.Wow, first you skip church, next you’re going to start furiously making out with your boyfriend in bed and fantasizing about doing more? So much for being a good Christian.

“Yeah, sorry, I just had to…freshen up a little,” I finally answer Caleb and carefully crawl into the covers on the bed next to him.

Once I’m settled in, Caleb reaches for my hand and holds it in his. The sparks are still there. Even though it’s been well over a month since the first time we held hands; even though Caleb has seen me at my absolute worst, despite the constant guilt I’m trying to ignore, and despite the possibility that this entire relationship might blow up in our faces any second—the sparks and flames I feel whenever Caleb and I touch are still there.

I lift his hand to my lips and press a soft kiss to it. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being there for me last night. For helping me through it, for pulling me out of the crowd, for giving me space when I needed it but holding me when I was ready.” I stare into his eyes, making sure I convey how serious I am. “I can’t imagine it was easy, but…you have no idea how much it means to me that you were there and that you’re still here.”

Caleb turns to face me, gazing back with intensity. “Of course I’m still here, Theo. I care about you. A lot. I’ll always be here for you.”

I can’t stand the distance anymore. I lean in and press my lips to his, and everything else melts away. Like yesterday, it starts as a gentle kiss, an outward expression of my overwhelming love and adoration for him, but that same switch flips in my brain, and the kiss becomes something more. And I want more. And I need more. And so I reach for more, pull him closer, and–

Caleb pulls away. Not aggressively, but it stings just the same.

My eyes fly open. “I’m sorry, was that too much?”

Caleb presses his forehead to mine. “No, it’s not–I’m just trying–” He sighs. “Last night was a lot for you. I don’t…want to take advantage of that.”

I exhale a laugh and close my eyes again. There are so many things I want to say, both seriously and jokingly, but they all fall flat. In the end, I know he’s right. My emotions are still running wild, hormones all out of whack.

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