Page 114 of Theoretically Straight

me and my squad of sociology/anthropology/religious studies nerds are gonna fuck shit up trying to bail you out of this <3

I read her texts over and over again, letting the weight of her words settle over me. I revel in the warmth that envelops me as I imagine Grace leading a rag-tag team of nerdy college students huddled around a table covered in books at a giant library, all on a mission to convince my homophobic dad that homosexuality isn’t a sin after all. I picture a wild-eyed Grace with her multi-colored hair in a messy bun, standing in front of a comically chaotic conspiracy board with cut-out Bible verses, historical blurbs about Ancient Rome, and rainbow stickers all messily strung together with red string and thumbtacks.

The mental picture alone is enough to make me laugh out loud, thawing the apathy weighing heavily on my chest and bringing tears to my eyes.

Theo

holy shit Grace. thank you. seriously you have no idea what this means to me that you’re trying. even if it doesn’t work, I appreciate it so much.

please thank your friends for me

Grace

you’re so welcome, bud - I’m happy to do it. my friends are too, we’re already having fun

also, they said they want pics of you and Caleb together but I assume Mom and Dad probably took those off your phone, correct?

Theo

yeah, I assume Dad deleted them.

but if you text Harrison, he can probably get them from Caleb

Grace

hahahaha yes perfect

you guys are too cute, I’m going to use your cuteness to get more people to join the cause

hang in there, bud - I love you. you’re worth fighting for, don’t forget that.

Theo

thank you Grace. I love you too.

* * *

Wednesday, October 25

The rest of the week marches on. I wake up, I drive to school, I spend as much time with Caleb as possible, then I drive home and stay in my room.

On Wednesday evening, I am forced to go to church.

The good news is that no one in my small group seems to have any idea of my predicament. Sienna must have only told my parents, and my parents must be too humiliated to tell anyone else. I’m not even worthy of a prayer request. It hurts in a way that it definitely shouldn’t, so I don’t dwell on it much.

But the bad news is that Sienna is there.

I don’t think I’ve ever hated a person until now.

Each time our eyes meet, I look away as quickly as possible. She looks like she’s trying to smile at me gently, but I can’t—I won’t look at her.

Thankfully, it’s fairly easy to avoid her. She doesn’t try very hard to get my attention or talk to me until Nathaniel and I make our way to Eileen at the end of the night.

“Theodore?”

The sound of her voice immediately makes my skin crawl. For a moment, I want to tell Nathaniel to run so we can jump in the car, lock the doors, and make our escape, never looking back. But there isn’t enough time. She’s closer to Eileen than we are. Was she waiting for me?

Sienna stands rather awkwardly a few feet from the driver’s side door, holding her massive purse, weighed down with her Bible, journal, highlighters, and pens. I wonder if I’m in that journal now, my name recorded onto a page as a grave prayer request. Or maybe a new project for her to work on. More of a renewed project, as I’m sure her dating me earlier this year wasn’t entirely without some type of ulterior spiritual motive. Maybe if she hadn’t broken up with me, I never would have kissed a boy. Maybe she feels guilty about it.

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