Page 117 of Theoretically Straight

“But thisisme, Mom,” I insist. “The real me. It’s not a stunt. Not a phase. Just…me.”

We sit in silence for several minutes before I stand up from the couch and grab my things from the coffee table. This conversation is pointless. A complete waste of time. We’re just talking in circles, and Mom’s never going to–

“Does he make you happy?”

I pause for a moment, taken aback by her question, but then answer without hesitation. “Yes. He really does.”

Mom stares past me again, her face thoughtful, but she doesn’t respond. A few more seconds of silence later, I slowly make my way towards the stairs. Before I start my ascent, I turn back to speak one last time. “You’d really like him, Mom. If you just gave him a chance—gaveusa chance—I know you’d love Caleb, too.” And with that, I retreat to my room and shut the door behind me.

THREE WEEKS LATER

Friday, November 17

The worst of the fallout is behind us. I’d hate to ruin my reputation as a pessimist, but things between Theo and me are actually going really well. All-things-considered.

I’m still avoiding his house–not that I’m officially banned or anything, but it’s awkward for me, and I don’t want to cause any additional stress for Theo. His mom is starting to come around to the idea of us being together, which is way more than I ever expected. He says things are getting better between them, but he’s not telling me the whole story. And that’s okay. It’s going to be a long process, and I’m just glad he’s able to talk to me again. Of course, now that the cat’s out of the bag and his parents know we’re dating, there’s a whole host of new rules inflicted on Theo–like Nathaniel has to ride to school with us so we’re not alone in the car–but we’ve found workarounds for almost all of them by now. Ways to steal away, even just for a moment, so I can have him all to myself. And in these moments, I cram all the desires I can’t act on under watchful eyes–which mostly boils down to a lot of making out. But it’s also when we whisper to one another, trading secrets and hopes and dreams for the future.

I love these stolen minutes most of all.

“Are we still on for the movies tonight?” Theo asks, laying his head back against my chest. Eileen’s backseat has become our own little slice of paradise as we soak in the last remaining minutes before Nathaniel finishes up at his robotics club.

I run my fingers through his dark, wavy hair. “Yeah, Freddy and I already coordinated seats. He and Andrew are going to meet us there at seven.”

Theo nods, grinding the back of his head against me. “Sweet. I’m glad we’re finally getting around to our double date. I feel like you two have been plotting this forever.”

There’s a reason it’s taken us this long, but I don’t have to say it out loud. He already knows. And it’s not like I’m upset about it. He apologizes all the time when we have to work around his parents’ rules, but I always tell him he doesn’t have to. Whatever hoops I have to jump through, I’ll do it. He’s worth it.

“We should have invited Harrison and Elise too,” I say. “Made it a triple-date.”

“Nah, those two have been insufferable lately. They’d be swapping spit the whole time. They can’t keep their hands off each other.”

“How are we any better?” I ask with a chuckle.

“Hey, at least we have the decency to not make out in front of our friends.”

“What about last weekend at Wren’s?”

Theo goes quiet for a moment. “Okay, point made. But in my defense, I thought no one was looking.”

“Mhm. Sure.”

Theo elbows me in the ribs, and I wrap my arms around him, pinning him in place against me. “Now, don’t go starting something you aren’t prepared to finish.”

He wrestles himself out of my grip, laughing as he plants a knee into the seat and turns to look down at me. “I’m going to make you regret those words.”

“Well, you’d better get started then–”

Theo’s lips silence me as he crashes into our kiss, pressing me back against the car door. His hands rest on my shoulders as he steadies himself, then drift down my shirt, and I jolt as his fingers slip between the top buttons of my shirt, leaving trails of fire across my skin as he unfastens them.

And then his lips are on my neck, and I can’t think anymore. I can’t breathe except in these small gasps as Theo’s hands trace my collarbone. I hold onto his waist as he comes up for air, grinning at me before he leans down for another kiss, letting the weight of his body fall against me. And there’s friction between us–the kind of friction that shoots electricity up my spine. The kind of friction that clouds my head in a fog, pushing away all other sensations till there’s nothing left–

A softdingemanates from Theo’s pocket. He breaks away, his heavy-lidded eyes lingering on me as he digs his phone out.

“It’s Nate’s five-minute warning,” he explains, falling back into the open seat.

I’m trying to catch my breath, so I just nod, hoping he doesn’t notice how much of an effect he has. Now that Theo isn’t on top of me, my brain is catching up to the rest of my body, and I pull my knees up toward my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

“Guess our time’s almost up,” I say, and even though I don’t intend it, I can’t keep the sadness from my voice.

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