Page 42 of Theoretically Straight

I’m confusing spiritual energy with something else. It just happens to feel eerily similar to what it felt like to have a crush on Sienna, to be attracted to Sienna, or to be close to Sienna. The ghost just wants to mess with me and make me think it’s the same feeling with Caleb, but it’s not. It’snot.

Everything is fine. Everything is fine.

I splash some cold water on my face and spend a few more seconds to even out my breathing. Caleb and Wren are going to wonder if I’m okay if I stay away too long. I’ve got this. I’m fine.

Everything is fine.

I reach for the door but stop as three knocks sound against it.

“No, it’s fine. I won’t be long.”

Theo practically runs out of the room, and Wren turns to me with a look of confusion. “Is it the movie? That’s totally my bad. I don’t remember it being this bloody.”

I unfold my arms, looking down at my palm. “No, I don’t think it was the movie. I think I fucked up.”

I can’t believe I did it again. Why do I keep doing that? I mean, sure, he didn’t shy away when our arms brushed against each other, but that doesn’t mean that he was asking for me to hold his hand. Now I’ve gone and freaked him out.

“What do you mean?” Wren asks, leaning over their armrest. The movie continues in the background, the heroine explaining to a police officer about all the dead nuns. “What happened?”

Sure, he held onto it when I tried to pull away, but that doesn’t mean anything, right? Surely bros do that sometimes when they watch a scary movie? Just because he held my hand doesn’t mean he’s into me.

Does it?

“Caleb, are you still with me?”

“Sorry,” I apologize, shaking away my growing doubt. “Um, we may have been holding hands a second ago. Like, right before he got up and ran away.”

Wren’s eyes get wide. “Seriously? How did I miss that? Curse this incredibly entertaining movie!”

“What do I do?” I ask, my voice thick with desperation. Theo will be back any second, and I’m starting to freak out. “Do we talk about it? Should I just forget it happened unless he brings it up? I mean, you saw all the crosses they have in the hallway upstairs, so are his parents going to, like, flip if they find out? Oh my god, what if he’s telling them right now? They’re going to burn us at the stake, Wren.”

Wren is laughing now, which isn’t exactly a comfort. “Okay, let’s take it down just a notch there, buddy. You two were holding hands, not signing the devil’s book. I don’t think they’re going to start a witch hunt in their basement, so forget about the burning. The worst they’d do is sit us down for a lecture about our eternal souls, which can’t last forever, so the odds of us making it out of here alive are still pretty good.”

“I’m serious, Wren. I’m freaking out over here.”

They wipe their eyes. “Sorry, I know. Look, you have to think about it from his perspective. If Theo really is starting to explore the possibility of having feelings for you, then even the small stuff, like holding hands, is going to be earth-shattering for him. You should probably talk to him about it and make sure that’s something that you want to deal with.”

Shit. I didn’t think about that.

I’ve been so wrapped in trying to figure out if Theo has been flirting with me that I never stopped to consider what it meant if he was. What he must be thinking about himself right now, or what kind of battle must be going on in his head.

An ache flares in my chest. Suddenly, all I can think about is comforting him and making sure he’s okay.

“Maybe I should go check on him?” I say, brushing off a layer of sour gummy worm dust from my shirt as I stand.

Wren nods in agreement. “I’ll send a search party if you’re gone longer than five minutes. Yell really loud if you get abducted by his parents. Oh! Do you think your mom would defend us in court if we end up having to kill someone in self-defense?”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to find out.”

Out in the hallway, I spot a closed door with light shining from underneath. That must be where he went. I hesitate for a moment, listening, just to make sure I’m not about to interrupt an actual bathroom situation. I knock after I hear the sink cut on.

I hear Theo fumble with the knob on the other side. The door swings open, his figure backlit.

“Sorry,” I stammer, taking a step back so he doesn’t feel like I’m cornering him. His face is definitely flushed, and the tips of his bangs are wet. “I just–I wanted to make sure you were okay. I love watching Wren’s movies, but they definitely get me sometimes, and I didn’t mean to–I mean, not that I didn’t want to–I just didn’t want you to think that there was something implied–shit! I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

Theo chuckles, the serious expression on his face brightening like a ray of sunshine breaking through thick clouds. “It’s okay, dude. Um, we were just caught up in the moment, right? I didn’t think a movie about nuns could freak me out so much, but then I got thinking about being down in the basement at Saint Catherine’s, and–I dunno, it just sort of all piled up at once. I’m good, though. Thanks for checking on me.”

There’s more he wants to say. I can see it on his face, but I don’t push him. Instead, I nod and motion over my shoulder. “We can probably catch the finale if we hurry.”

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