Page 51 of Theoretically Straight

Before I know it, everyone has congregated around the pool and they’re talking and it’s perfect. For a few beautiful moments, all my favorite people in the world are hitting it off, talking about horror movies, even bringing up horror anime, which of course piques Elise’s attention, and I can’t help but feel ecstatic.

Until Caleb brings up a horror anime that is…well,gay.

And suddenly, I’m trying not to spiral again.Not now, not now, not now.Stop thinking about it. It’s fine. He’s allowed to be interested in gay media. Elise talks about gay anime and fanfiction all the time.

I slowly drift further into the deep end of the pool, trying to swim away from the panic, away from the weirdness. There’s no reason to panic. Nothing weird is happening. Everything’s going so well. I’m fine, this is fine, and everything is normal and–

Suddenly, an inner tube lands around my head, shocking me out of my thoughts. I glance up and see Caleb watching me curiously, everyone else gone. “Pizza’s here,” he says, motioning to the porch.

“Oh. Sweet,” I say, my voice flat. “You go ahead. I’ll be there in a second, okay?”

Caleb nods, his expression still concerned, but he turns and walks away.

I take a deep breath and submerge myself under the water again, exhaling my breath so that I sink straight to the bottom.

Being a teenager sucks. Why do my emotions give me such whiplash?

I eventually force myself out of the pool and head to the porch for pizza, and by the time I sit down and start eating, I slowly start to feel normal again. I watch on as an impassioned Oliver recounts a funny story, and something Oliver says or does makes Caleb laugh, and somehow, my sour mood begins to fade away.

“So, we’refinallywatching it after literal years of convincing him to suck it up and watch the stupid movie, and Theo isn’t even paying attention because he’s too busy texting!”

Ah, of course, it’s an embarrassing story about me. It’s okay—I’m barely paying attention because I already know the story and lived through it. Oliver’s dramatic retelling is doing a better job at telling it than I ever will anyway.

Also, it’s too hard to concentrate when Caleb keeps laughing like that. He’s leaning against the wall on the porch, plate of pizza in hand, his towel draped over his bare shoulders.

He has a lot of freckles. So many little freckles… They remind me of stars in the night sky.

“What text conversation could possibly be more important thanThe Exorcist?” Caleb asks with wide eyes.

I could probably take a marker and trace little constellations in those freckles. I can almost see them now if I look hard enough. Orion’s belt. Cassiopeia. The Big Dipper.

“Psh, it was probably Sienna,” Harrison mutters while taking another bite of his pizza slice.

Hearing Sienna’s name violently yanks me out of the night sky, crashing back down to earth.

“Who is Sienna?” Caleb asks, and I try not to visibly wince as I brace myself for whatever unhinged answers my friends will provide to Caleb’s innocent question.

“Theo’s ex,” Oliver replies quickly, his mouth very full of pizza, but of course, he wanted to be the one to say it. He swallows before adding, “The biggest Jesus Freak you’ll ever meet in your life.”

“Oh,” Caleb says softly, his expression indecipherable. I try not to overthink it. Why would I overthink it?

“Yeah, she’s–she’s sweet, but a little intimidating to be around,” Harrison adds, shooting a glance at me, then frowning. I guess whatever expression I’m making doesn’t pass Harrison’s vibe check. Shit.

“That’s an understatement,” Oliver continues. “Dude, Sienna is like, freakin’ Mother Theresa or something. She goes on mission trips, she talks about the Bible all the time, she prays in public. It’s wild. But hey, if that’s what Theo’s into…” he trails off, shrugging.

“Sienna was too much,” Elise says bluntly directly to Caleb. “Theo’s so much better off without her. I know I’ve said it before, but those five months were rough on all of us.”

“Wow, five months?” Caleb says, finally looking at me. “That’s a long time.”

I open my mouth to answer, but Oliver interrupts. “Way too long. We threw a party when they broke up.”

“It wasn’tthatbad,” Harrison chimes in again, giving Oliver a look that clearly conveys he needs to shut up, but I’ll be surprised if Oliver gets the message. “Shewasn’t that bad, she was just possessive of Theo’s time, and we missed him, that’s all. But that’s ancient history, I’m sure Theo doesn’t want to talk about–”

“Bullshit, that wasn’t all,” Oliver argued. “She made Theo think he was a bad Christian because he wasn’t as brain-washed as her, and quite frankly that pissed me off.”

“Same,” Elise adds, taking a sip of her soda and eyeing Caleb as she says it.

Suddenly, I wish we were back in the pool so I could float back to the deep end and hold my head underwater so I could muffle all of this. I feel the tips of my ears burning with embarrassment. I can only hope it looks like sunburn.

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