Page 93 of Theoretically Straight

The tips of Theo’s cheeks get pink, accentuating the light splotches of freckles brought out by the afternoon sun. “Yeah, you know. Like Thackery Binx. FromHocus Pocus.” He pats the cat plushie on the head. “It fits, you know?”

My god, can this boy get any cuter? I want to drag him into the closest tent and kiss him till we’re both gasping for air, but I have to be on my best behavior.

“It totally fits.”

The lines stretch even longer this time of day, so we have to wait a while to get on the freefall ride. Theo and I spend most of the time playing an increasingly risky game of “find any excuse to touch each other” while Freddy scrolls on his phone. I didn’t think it would be this difficult being so close to Theo and not being able to reach out for him. It seems like every day gets a little harder, and I want to bring it up, but it’s not the right time. Still, I can’t help but daydream about what it would be like to walk around the Pumpkin Fair with Theo’s hand in mine for all the world to see. To wrap my arms around him whenever I wanted to and not have to have our friends remind us to break it up. To kiss him, drenched in the golden sunlight that transfigures his deep chestnut hair into hues of umber and honey.

“You okay?” Theo asks, shaking me from my stupor. We’re almost to the front of the line, and both he and Freddy are looking at me.

“Yeah, sorry. All that fried food must have rotted my brain.”

“Look, I want to dissociate from this ride, too,” Freddy says with a wry smile. “But if I have to be present, so do you.”

“I’m here,” I promise with a chuckle. “Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Theo asks again, getting close enough that he can whisper it.

“I was just thinking. We can maybe talk about it later, okay?”

He nods, a spark of worry behind his eyes.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” I assure him, knocking my shoulder into his.

The next round of riders plunge down, their screams drowning our conversation. Then the gate ahead opens up, and we hurry along to get strapped into the ride. But by the time we get to the open seats, there are only two beside each other and a single one on the other side of the ride. Freddy looks like he’s starting to hyperventilate, so I turn to Theo and ask, “Is it okay if I ride beside him? I think he needs the support.”

Theo nods, giving me a thumbs up before he rounds the corner of the row and takes the single seat, pulling down the restraints. Freddy and I take our spots, doing the same and fastening the buckles.

Freddy lets out an exhale, clutching the bars on his restraint so tight that his knuckles blanch.

“Hey.” I extend my hand out to him. “We got this. Everything’s going to be fine.”

Freddy takes my hand, nearly crushing it at first but then slacking the pressure a bit. “Don’t let go,” he says, a spark of sincerity in his voice.

The attendant completes their safety check, and the ride shoots us upward with a hiss of air and the teetering mechanical melody of a song. In seconds, we’re at the top of the tower, the afternoon sun washing over the town of Specter below. To the north, you can just make out the hills that rise from the lower Appalachians, and if you turn in the opposite direction, you can see the cityscape of northern Atlanta. It's so wild how quickly I forget our town is tucked between such contrasts. The bustling city and the rolling hills of evergreen trees. It’s beautiful–especially from up here.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Freddy mumbles beside me, squeezing my hand till it aches.

“Breathe, Freddy,” I remind him. “It’ll all be over in a–”

The mechanical music ends, and the ride plummets, my dangling legs flying up and locking at the knee as gravity loses its effect on us. Then, halfway down, the ride stops, and we ricochet back up to the top for a split second before falling again, this time all the way to the bottom, slowing only a few feet from our collision with the dirt.

My heart is racing as the restraints lift up, and Freddy’s hand is still wrapped around mine as we hop out of our seats.

“Oh my god,” he breathes. “I think I’m with Lola on this one, Cal. Not for me.”

The attendant–an older man with graying hair on the sides of his head–walks past us to get the ride ready for the next group, but I can tell he’s staring at me and Freddy, or should I say, he’s staring at our hands. I drop his, reminding myself that this is the reason I can’t hold onto Theo the way I want to. It’ll bring unwanted attention.

“That was crazy!” Theo says once he’s rejoined us. “Did you hear me screaming?”

Freddy shakes his head, “Nah, I couldn’t hear anything over my own blubbering.”

“I heard both of you,” I tease as we exit the gated area around the ride and step back into the crowds.

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be as brave as Caleb,” Freddy says.

“Wren is far braver than I am when it comes to rides,” I correct him.

Freddy laughs. “That’s just because they’re dead inside.”

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