“Did Binx make it through okay?” I ask Theo, turning back to him.
He untucks the plush from his shirt, giving me a thumbs up and a wink. “He was a trooper.”
As we move towards the next ride, we’re squeezed by the growing crowds. Theo does his best to stick by my side, but we keep getting separated by the endless stream of Specter residents. Again, I find myself wanting to reach out for Theo, to wrap an arm around his waist as we walk so he can’t get washed away in the crowds, but I tamp that longing down.
“Hey, Freddy!”
Freddy stops in front of me, turning to scan the river of bodies around us. A tall boy with blonde hair and glasses waves over the heads of those around him, and it takes me a second to recognize him from school.
“Andrew!” Freddy calls, fighting his way through the crowd.
I take Theo by the elbow, pulling him out of the stream of traffic and over beside a cart selling kettle corn. We watch as Andrew and Freddy meet in the middle of the crowd, embracing each other and even sharing a quick kiss. I feel Theo tense beside me, and I realize I’m still holding onto him, so I drop my hold and mutter a quick, “Sorry.”
Freddy and Andrew make their way over to us, hand-in-hand. “Caleb, Theo, you guys know Andrew.”
“Hey,” I greet Andrew.
“How’s it going?” Theo adds.
“Sorry to crash,” Andrew says, giving a sheepish smile. “I didn’t think I was going to be able to make it, but our choir practice ended early.”
“No worries,” I tell him. “Glad you could come.”
“Andrew hasn’t eaten yet, so I was going to walk him over to the food trucks,” Freddy explains, leaning his head on Andrew’s shoulder. “Want to meet up later?”
“Sure, we’ll check to see where y’all are in a bit.”
It’s probably for the best anyway. Things are starting to get really crowded, so maybe it’s a good time for me and Theo to sneak away to someplace quieter.
“Okay, bye!” Freddy calls over his shoulder as the two of them disappear in the churning chaos of bodies.
“Hey, you want to go chill for a minute?” I ask Theo.
He brushes the hair from his eyes. “Are you sure? I’m okay to keep riding rides.”
“I’m positive. Come on, we can cut through here around to the back of the tents.”
Theo nods, following me along the grassy path between two white tarp tents to the backside of the fairground. From here, the old pumpkin patch sprawls out ahead, now just overgrown with local vegetation, but the remnants of an old wooden fence stick out of the ground every few feet.
Behind the wall of tents and trailers, the noise of the fair is muffled, mixed in with the sounds of birds and the road on the other side of the patch. Leading Theo, we walk along the tattered wooden fence, and after a moment, I stop, turning to face him.
“Has today been as difficult for you as it has been for me?”
Theo looks down at Binx, running his fingers along the brim of the witch hat. “It’s not been easy, that’s for sure. I can’t help it. I just want to kiss you, like all the time.”
“Same. And I love the Pumpkin Fair and all our friends, but I just… I wish there wasn’t this weird tension distracting me. I want to enjoy myself and my time with you, but it’s hard.”
Theo nods. “I’m sorry. I don’t really know what to say.”
“I’m not sure what I want you to say either. I just wanted to be honest with you about what I’m feeling. And you don’t have to be sorry about anything, Theo. I’m not trying to push you into anything you’re not ready for.”
Theo looks over his shoulder, scanning the area. He takes my hand in his. “I feel the same way. I wish we could be like Freddy and Andrew, that I could kiss you in the middle of a sea of people and not care about what others think… but I can’t. I just need a little more time, I think. Is that okay?”
I pull him closer to me, leaning my forehead into his. “Of course it is, Theo. I’m not upset, I promise.”
He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m being a really shitty boyfriend.”
My pulse jolts. “Did you really just say that?”