Page 97 of Theoretically Straight

“We have to go,” I finally say.

“We do?”

I nod vigorously, panic spreading fast and quick. “We…we have to get out of here.”

“Okay, sure, I think we’re about to get off,” Caleb says quietly. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

I keep my eyes on Sienna’s orange hair as long as I can, but I’m losing sight of her. Shit, shit, shit, shit, I need to find her, I need to explain–

“Theo, talk to me.”

“Ex-girlfriend. Saw us up there. Gotta find her.”

“Oh. Oh, shit.”

“Yeah.”

The gondola rolls to a stop, and the attendant raises our lap bar. I hear Caleb mutter a “thank you” to him, but my eyes are trained on the direction Sienna went, and I start walking, but I don’t see her anymore. Oh God, I have to find her. I walk faster.

“Theo, wait!” Caleb calls from behind me.

I don’t wait. I start running.

“Theo, where are you going?” Harrison calls from the gondola he and Elise are still on above me. I don’t answer—I don’t even acknowledge them. I’ll explain later. They’ll understand.

I’ve completely lost sight of Sienna, and I can feel an oncoming panic attack as I find myself deep in a crowd of strangers.No, no, no, no–

My phone. I’m so stupid. We have phones. I can just call her. Text her. Something. Anything. I just have to get out of here.

I turn around, expecting Caleb to be behind me, but he’s not. Of course he’s not—I left him. There are only more people. So many people. Way too many people. Some of them look at me, but most of them don’t. I stop walking and turn around to head back to the Ferris wheel, but a man rams into my back. He grunts and grumbles something about not stopping in the middle of the path, but I can barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears and the noise coming from every direction. Kids are screaming and laughing. Adults are carrying on normal conversations. The ride machinery, the carnival games, the concession stands, and the merchandise booths are suddenly so loud, and every sound is overwhelming. It’s too much, and I’m dizzy, and I need to sit down, but I can’t sit down in the middle of the path, I’ll get trampled, so I need to get out of the crowd, away from the people, away from–

“Theo!”

I hear Caleb’s voice through the chaos, and I whip my head around to find him. Sure enough, his russet curls appear in my peripheral, and his warm brown eyes finally find mine. He extends a hand out to me, and I nearly crush it in my grip. Caleb pulls me behind him and out of the crowd, and we duck between two merchandise tents and out towards the parking lot.

As soon as we’re out of the crowd, I collapse on the ground and hug my knees to my chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry–”

“Hey, shhh,” Caleb crouches down next to me but maintains a few inches of space between us so that I don’t feel cramped. God, he’s too good to me. How does he know to do that? “It’s okay. Just breathe.”

It’s only then that I realize I’m nearly hyperventilating, so I close my eyes and consciously try to slow my breathing. Caleb stays put, his presence grounding me.

“Can I touch you?” Caleb asks, and I open my eyes to see his hand hovering over my back. I nod once, and Caleb starts gently rubbing small comforting circles on my back, and I close my eyes again, focusing on the sensation of his hands.

We stay here like this for what feels like hours, but it’s probably no more than a few minutes. My breathing is finally almost back to normal, and I open my eyes to see Caleb glancing down at his phone in his other hand.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” I say softly, my voice barely over a whisper.

Caleb immediately puts his phone away and leans in closer. “Don’t apologize, Theo. You had a panic attack.”

“I know, I just–I was stupid, I just ran off without you, I just thought I could…” I trail off, remembering why I ran ahead in the first place, and then I immediately wrangle my phone out of my pocket. “I need to text her.”

“Who?”

“Sienna. She’s–she saw us, she might–I don’t know.”

Caleb keeps his hand on my back, watching me silently as I frantically pull up the text conversation with Sienna.

Theo

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