Page 98 of Theoretically Straight

hey Sienna, we need to talk about tonight, but you just disappeared and I couldn’t find you. can we talk?

I stare at the text conversation, waiting for any indication that she read it or that she was responding. I exhale a shaky breath and shut my eyes again, concentrating on Caleb’s hand still pressed against my back.

“The rest of the gang should be heading this way soon,” Caleb says, looking at his phone. “Are you okay if they join us?”

I wipe my eyes with my sleeves and nod my head. Miraculously, little Binx is still secured in my flannel shirt, although his head is no longer poking up under my chin. He’s fallen to my stomach where my shirt is tucked in, giving me a weirdly shaped bulge in my shirt.

“Are you worried she’s going to tell someone?” Caleb asks quietly.

I nod without looking at him. “She’ll think she’s doing the right thing,” I croak.

Caleb’s hand stills on my back for a moment, but then he goes back to rubbing. “Is there anything I can do?” he asks.

I finally look up at him. The sky has darkened now, and the only light is coming from the large overhead lights set up around the fairgrounds, but here, between the merchandise tables and the parking lot is a strange liminal space where not much light is focused. But even so, I can see the concern in Caleb’s eyes as he waits for my response.

God, I’m so pathetic. He deserves better. Better than a boyfriend having a panic attack while chasing down an ex-girlfriend because she’s about to spill their personal shit all over the church.

If I wasn’t so afraid of everything, none of this would have happened. We could have made out at the top of the Ferris wheel like every other young couple in Specter without a care in the world. It wouldn’t have mattered if Sienna saw us, so I wouldn’t have tried to run after her. If I wasn’t so afraid of everything, I wouldn’t be having a fucking panic attack that Caleb feels like he has to help me through.

“Theo, please talk to me,” Caleb says, taking my clenched fist into his hands. “Please. I want to help.”

“You’re already helping,” I say, trying desperately not to cry again. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to leave?” Caleb asks, gently rubbing my hand with his thumb.

I shrug. “Probably should.”

At that moment, Harrison, Elise, and Oliver appear beside me. I don’t want to look at them. I know they’ve seen me like this before, but it’s just as embarrassing every time. I also suspect that Freddy, Wren, and Andrew aren’t far behind as well, and I definitely don’t want them to see me like this.

“Is he okay?” Harrison says, presumably asking Caleb.

“I think so,” Caleb says, still rubbing my back and holding my hand.

“Was he able to catch up to Sienna?” Elise asks.

“We’ll deal with that later,” Harrison declares, an edge in his voice. “Let’s get you home, Theo. Elise, can you follow behind us in Eileen?”

“Of course,” Elise says immediately, approaching me with an outstretched hand.

“Let me text Nathaniel—he rode with me,” I say, reaching into my pocket for my keys to hand off to Elise and pulling out my phone. Sienna still hasn’t responded. I swallow hard.Stay focused, Theo.I shoot Nate a text and try to breathe again.

“Caleb, do you have a ride?” Oliver asks.

“I’ve got him,” Wren’s voice says from behind us.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I whisper to Caleb. It’s really an apology to everyone because I ruined everyone’s night, but I’ll apologize to my friends in Harrison’s car later.

“Stop apologizing,” Caleb says, his hand on my back moving to my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. “I just want you to be okay. We all do.”

My phone buzzes, but before I panic too much, I notice it’s just Nathaniel saying he’ll meet us by the car.

“Come on, bro,” Oliver says, standing above me and extending a hand out to lift me up. “Let’s get out of here.”

It all happens so fast. I try to comfort Theo the best way I can, but now Oliver has his arm around him, taking him to the parking lot, and I just feel so helpless. There’s nothing I can do to fix it, and knowing that only adds to the swelling pit in my stomach as I watch the boy I possibly love crumble from the weight of his guilt and fear.

I want to hurl, and for once at the Pumpkin Fair, it has nothing to do with the rides.

“What the hell happened?” Wren asks once Theo and the others are out of sight. Now that the sun has set, the crowds are only getting thicker around the booths as more of the town shows up for the nighttime festivities. “I only got bits and pieces from Oliver. He was talking a thousand miles an hour on the way over here.”

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