Page 149 of Drown My Sorrow

I don’t deserve them.

“This really what you want, Cher?”

I bite my cheek until I taste blood.

I hate myself and this situation; I wish I could be better for them. I wish I could be more.

With deep regret and self-loathing, I nod my answer.

“Okay,” he whispers and closes his eyes. “Okay.”

PresentDay

The darkness of the Boothe mansion’s deepest hallways call to me. I’m nothing but a bother to the pack. I can’t help them here. All I can do is walk with the ghost of my family following me around.

It rains almost every day.

I run into the house to escape it, venturing further and further, but no matter how deep I go, I can’t escape the sound of it pattering against the home.

Gael, Kelly, Shale, and Ezy are busy most of the time. When they come to bed, they drop in exhausted.

It’s Keagan and Beau who are my constant companions. They follow me quietly, letting me stew. Keagan holds me. His touch, his quiet support can’t ease the black clouds that are crushing me.

I’m falling into an abyss of treacherous thoughts.

The newspapers print out daily opinions of me, Keagan, Shale, and Beau, and our unworthiness to be part of pack Raines. I want to shout at them, to defend ourselves, but Kelly is struggling to get the board members to work with him, and Ezy is at war with his past.

Even Gael has turned inward. He spends as much time as he can on the estate paperwork, diving in so he can’t relive the nightmares that haunt him.

The vision of that black wave is something I see with increasing frequency, and I wonder if this is the black wave. If I’m drowning in it now. Was this what my Sight was trying to tell me? If it is, how do I survive it?

The Boothe family glare down at me. I’ve given them all nicknames now. There’s Boofy, Busty, Broly, and it goes on. I should have named them alphabetically so I could remember who was who, but it didn’t occur to me that I’d still be here to care.

Keagan answers a phone call and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

“Okay, I’ll stay here.”

He makes an unhappy sound but kisses my forehead and disappears.

I watch him go, feeling all sorts of out of control. I’ve become a spectator in my own life, watching it careen everywhere I never expected.

Five minutes later, I hear a whisper of movement on the carpet and turn with a smile. Which promptly fades away.

Holt stands there. He’s thin and old, but he’s bigger than me, and he’s got two legs that work. He also stares at me with venom in his eyes.

“Typhor sends his hello. He is looking forward to meeting you.”

I step back, half a step before I can stop myself. “I don’t understand what I did to get this kind of hatred from you, Holt.”

Keep him talking, Keagan is on his way. I can feel the spikes of stress through the bonds.

“That child is tainted. He is scum and a disappointment. But he made it all worse when he brought back a defective mate. I’ve seen your medical record. You can’t even have children. What purpose is in an omega’s and beta’s life if they can’t bear young? You are not for the Boothe line!”

The absolute fanatical look in his eyes only convinces me that he’s crazy.

You can’t reason with crazy.

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