Page 177 of Drown My Sorrow

He got up at dawn and said he needed an hour or two.

It’s been thirty minutes, but as soon as he left, I started to panic. So I got ready, and here I stand, watching him ride the waves. The sun is glistening on the aquamarine ocean. Gold highlights on a smooth surface.

All my love playing in everything I fear.

Only the swell further out is any sign of the sea’s turbulent mood. The sand is soft and warm beneath my feet, not yet hot from the day, but no longer cool either. The smell of the salty ocean is softer today. Even the sun feels not quite as bright.

I smile as my hair is picked up by a breeze and whipped past me. Despite everything, it is good to be back.

“How are things going with Mitch?”

Sonny glances at me in surprise. “You knew about it?”

I roll my eyes. “I think everyone knew about it. Is it serious?”

Sonny swallows and shades his eyes to look out at Gael. “It’s serious.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“You are?”

I shrug. “Despite everything, I don’t want people to be unhappy, Sonny. You and I never really had anything to do with each other, but I don’t hate you or wish you ill.”

“Because you never report anything.”

I laugh. “That is true.”

“Where are the others?”

“They’ll be here soon,” I say back, which is the same answer I’ve been giving people since we got here. Why do they keep asking?

They were tense, but they are starting to relax. Gwen has been making comments. I wish her parents didn’t own the hotel. The fear in the air is ebbing, but I ignore them like I always have.

I’m not sure how safe it’s going to be to remain here. The Daane kept them in line.

My enjoyment of the day fades as the throb of the bond inside me reminds me once again of the absent bonds. It’s like a hole inside me. It’s like something that is vital is missing.

The day turns gloomy, and I sit down, my cane tight in my hand, watching Gael, just making sure he’s not going anywhere.

“Hey, you!”

I whip my head around and see Marian from the pub and Omar from the head of the market committee.

I get up carefully, using my cane to balance and wait for them, but when I turn, I find more people. Mitch, Gwen, the two guys the Daane beat up. People I’ve known for years.

Fear rips through me. I’ve been the recipient of mob justice before, I recognise exactly what this is.

“Why did you come back?”

I blink and look around at them all. “This is home.”

“It’s not your home!”

The panic is swirling, but I try to stay calm. I don’t want Gael to rush into this.

“I’ve been here for years. It’s home.”

Gwen spits.

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