Page 30 of Drown My Sorrow

To be honest, that sounds amazing. I nod my head, loving the feel of the pain as my hair pulls against my scalp.

I smooth my hands over his black shirt and wish for just one crazy moment that my heat would come on so I could have an excuse to be with them.

No, I have rules to keep distance for a reason.

Shale, Beau, and Keagan withdraw, leaving me wanting to call them back, but instead, I grab my cane and gesture for Gael to follow me.

On the other side of the room is my single armchair and a crate I sit on when I have visitors. The armchair is ratty and secondhand, and I have to cover it with a blanket to hide the hole, but it’s mine, and I paid for and bought it myself.

“I realise this is strange, but I just want to get to know you a little bit better. I mean, we are scent matches,” Gael murmurs in a soft voice that has me wanting to move closer to him.

I get that sinking feeling and realise I’m going to need to have the same talk with him that I had with the others.

“Let me interrupt you, Gael. They did mention that I don’t want bonds, right? I don’t have a pack, they just refuse to leave me alone when I ask, and, to be honest, they’ve saved me a couple of times. We’re more friends than anything else.”

Gael is watching me with a look that I can’t interpret. He is heartbreakingly handsome, with his olive skin and dark hair. His eyes seem to see inside me. I’ve never met anyone like him. It’s hurting me to say these things, but I forge on. Ripping the bandaid off and hurting us both quickly in order to be kind later.

“I just don’t want any of it. All I want is to live here alone, work, and enjoy my life while I can. I’m sorry that you came here for no reason, and I hope it hasn’t made you miss your competition.”

He half smiles, but it’s harsh, and it leaves me chilled. I don’t need to be an empath to sense the rising anger in the room.

“You don’t want scent matches. Not us or them?”

I force a smile and shake my head. “Nope.”

“Well, I guess I better be on my way.” His words are stiff and bitter.

He stands up abruptly, his whole body lines of anger and tension. I watch as he stalks out of my house and disappears without another word. Damn it. I was hoping he would want to be friends. Once I’m sure I’m alone, I let myself slump in the chair. I pull my good leg up and wrap my arms around it.

Outside, I can hear Beau shouting. I squeeze my eyes closed and rest my head on my knee.

Of the three of them, Beau is the loudest. Shale is very calm and commanding. Beau is emotional, he’s a loud happy and a loud sad. Keagan, though, is quiet, except with me and his pack. He hardly ever engages in conversation with anyone outside of us.

Shale stalks in and throws himself into my armchair. “What did you say to him?”

“I told him the same thing that I told you, that I don’t want a pack, no mates, no bonds, nothing.”

He glares at me. “And that’s it? Just the normal spiel?”

I nod and sniffle. “I shouldn’t be so upset. This is what I wanted. But he was so mad.”

Shale gets up and pulls me out of the chair. “He’s a moron. Clearly. I’ll talk to him.”

“What are you going to say to him?” I whisper into his shirt.

“What I say every time you tell us you don’t want a mate, bond, or pack. Your confidence is shot. You need time to heal. I’m going to wait forever for you. There is no other answer, Aspyn. That is the only one. You and us. That’s how it's meant to be. I’m going to tell him that's what he says from now on.”

“Shale, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t have to. I know you don’t want me to. I’ve heard all the arguments. I don’t care.”

I open my mouth, but he kisses me hard and quick.

“No more talking. Let’s go get Beau to bake us some snacks.”

Beau stomps inside and rushes over to me, picking me up by my ass and dancing around.

“My perfect omega. What flavour would you like to eat?”

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