Page 37 of Drown My Sorrow

I’ve tried to stay away from them, and, a year ago, I tried to cut them off. Cold turkey. I stopped answering the door; I ignored phone calls and messages; the madness even had me changing the locks.

I hoped that they would find a pretty, able-bodied omega to love and stop wasting their time on me. I can’t give them a future.

But Shale’s brother Eben had rocked up, and the things he’d said, well, they had cut deep. But it was Shale’s fury, his icy rage that smacked into his brother that had me realising I couldn’t keep running. Eben had been cruel but not needlessly; I could see his point, I still can. It had broken my willpower.

So I re-established the boundaries. They could come and go, help me with my heats, but we were friends.

Except, I gave them an inch, and they stole a mile. Now they have these pet names that make my knees weak, and they pick me up and carry me around like I’m nothing. They massage my leg when it hurts, cook for me, are interested in what I do and have to say. Everything they used to do except so much more now. It’s like whatever held them back is gone.

But I can’t stop holding back, and that’s the truth. They don’t know the truth about me, and I’m scared to tell them. I am a defective omega in almost every way. What if…what if they hear what I say and decide I’m not worth having around?

Beau slaps his hand on the table.

“Stop it.”

I jerk my eyes to his face. He stares at me and then huffs and pulls out his phone.

“Sorry, Shale, I’m going to stay here-”

“Oh, no, Beau, I’m fine-” I protest.

“Yeah, text me when you’re done. Aspyn and I can come meet you if we’re up.”

He hangs up the phone, tilts my chin up, and kisses my lips. It’s the kisses that confuse me because I can’t say no. I crave their touch and their kisses. Crave them. Think about them, get flutters of excitement, pine over the memory of them.

I dream about those kisses.

“You didn’t have to do that, Beau,” I murmur when he pulls back.

“Yes, I did. I don’t want you to ever think I prefer being anywhere else but here. This is where I belong. We all do.”

I look down at my food, trying to hide the thick ball of emotion in my throat.

“Thank you,” I manage to choke out.

Beau picks up my fork and scoops some up and holds it for me. I blink a few times, but the image doesn’t vanish. A tiny part of me inside mewls and softens. I lean forward, opening my mouth and allowing the alpha who says I belong to him to feed me.

“You know, we’ve been friends for a long time, right?” Beau says softly. He’s perched on the table to my left, facing me, and it’s hard not to stare. His tattoos come down over his hands and onto his fingers, but they don’t hide the muscles or veins that run down his arms. And I am a sucker for forearms.

“We have,” I say belatedly.

“So, I just was curious about one teeny, tiny thing.”

I stare up at him. “Yes?”

He pulls out the card and lays it on the table. “When did you paint this?”

I stare at it, mesmerised. I thought I’d lost that card forever.

“I…where did you get that? It was stolen.”

“Yes, it made its way back to me,” Beau says. “Now, when did you paint it?”

“A few weeks before we started talking again,” I say in distraction, reaching out to run my fingers over the card.

“Why did you paint it?”

“I missed you, I guess, and I just felt like…” I trail off, beginning to feel so stupid.

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