Page 4 of Drown My Sorrow

I rub my thumb along my index finger. It’s an old habit of mine to combat anxiety.

Nat watches me do it and then leans back. “You have a real soft spot for the underdog, and it’s going to get you in trouble one of these days.”

I shake my head.

She puts a finger to her own chest. “Exhibit one. You should have run far, far away rather than be tarnished along with me.”

I lean across the table, putting my hand on hers. “Not ever! You’re my best friend. I’d rather be sitting here just the two of us losers than be with the whole town combined.”

“Aw, you say such sweet things,” Nat snickers. “All right, give me the good stuff. How was the D?”

I sit back, laughing. “A lady never tells.”

“You ain’t no lady, spill!”

“As usual, it was perfect.”

I heave a sigh, falling into the memories of my heat. I wish I could remember it all clearly, but it comes in flashes and broken memories.

“They always make it perfect for me.”

Nat sighs and stands up, knowing I won’t reveal more than that. “Get ready. Let’s go make some money before you start crying.”

I snort a laugh. Nat is blunt and often offends people, but I’m used to her abrasive nature. Still, she knows me too well, and my financial situation is dire. Not even the end of a heat will stop me from going to work.

I get up, and, with a groan of distaste, I pick up my cane and use it to get safely to the bedroom, where I change into my work clothes and grab my bag.

Nat waits for me on the porch where she, too, has changed. While Nat may not have the most stunning face, her figure is incredible, and she has learned to use it to her advantage.

I need something different.

We all have to do whatever we can to survive, right?

Chapter two

Shale

ShaleAged16

“Fuck you, too!”

Eben swears at me as he gets in the car. My brother’s showing all signs of being an alpha. He’s already taller than me and much wider. But he’s still got that sweetness that I have loved since I was old enough to recognise him as my brother. His blue eyes are normally dancing with joy, but, right now, he’s glaring out the other window, swiping bitter tears from his cheeks. Our brand new step brother, Emrys Landry, follows him nervously. He’s painfully thin and quiet with very introspective energy compared to Eben’s puppy-like emotions. They are fourteen and have no idea what the world is really like. I hope they never find out.

At least they are together. I feel a pang of guilt leaving Eben, but this is the best thing for both of us.

Mum glares at me from the driver’s side window. It’s the ultimate betrayal, you see. When parents split up, their kids should choose a side to be on. They should be obedient. I was supposed to choose her so she could parade us around her new world saying, “look how evil my ex is.”

Except I was never good at being obedient, and I know the truth about her. She’s been her new scent match’s toy for four years already. Dad knows all about it, too. The only reason he hasn’t done something about it is because he doesn’t care.

She should have come a year ago when I needed her. Now Dad needs me, wants me, threatens me, does it make a difference? I don’t know why Mum came back, why she tried to manipulate me into this again. Dad and she are cut from the same cloth. Children are weapons they can use against each other.

But if I try to go with her, Dad will fight for custody of Eben. And he will win. I cannot allow that. Eben won’t survive his brand of punishment.

Dad’s rarely ever home anymore, which is a relief. I basically do everything alone now. My lonely isolation. Wishing I had someone who was happy to see me.

He came home three days after Mum and Eben left with a new woman on his arm. I didn’t try to get to know her. Just like the others, she will be gone soon. There is only one woman who haunts my father, and that’s my mother and her black soul.

Dad cornered me yesterday when I refused to call the new one Mum, and I suffered for my arrogance until he got bored. My dad’s rage comes in fits and bursts. I wonder if one day he will accidentally kill me, and will he regret it if he does?

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