Page 28 of Royal Crush

“But I am sorry tonight. I was practically shitting myself with nerves about you watching me. I knew I wasn’t getting it all right, but I just…fuck. It’s so ridiculous.” I didn’t want to say it, so I looked away.

“Aleric.” His voice was so fucking commanding. I couldn’t help but meet his gaze. “What did you need from me?”

“It wasn’t something I needed. It was something I wanted.” I took a long, slow breath, then decided I’d let myself be humiliated for the truth. “I wanted to get something right on the first try. To be told I’d done a good job. It’s unrealistic, I know. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I didn’t do enough research before I started this whole thing.”

“No, you didn’t. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. I don’t love this whole…thing”—he waved his hand around the room—“but you don’t have to fly by the seat of your pants, and you don’t have to keep guessing. I’m here for a reason. You can always ask me if you’re feeling lost or unsure.”

I let out a small laugh of disbelief. “You don’t exactly make that easy, you know. YourHighness.”

He blushed and glanced away. “Yeah. I guess I deserve that. I don’t know how to not be angry that they didn’t cast one of the hundreds of wildly talented disabled actors for this role. I just don’t understand why you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they were moved by my begging.”

He choked a little and bit his lip as he finally looked back at me. “Didyou beg?”

I shook my head, and it felt all…soft and buzzy and strange. “Well…no. My agent got me the audition, and I didn’t think I had a shot in hell, so when they called me back, I was a little surprised. But I’ve always liked you, and after I got hired, I thought, if I can do this—if I can do something that feels both entertaining and important—maybe I can prove to everyone I’m not some giant fuckup looking to recover from all the bullshit people believe about me.”

He looked unmoved, which I supposed was fair enough. “You know that disabled people aren’t some conduit for?—”

“That’s…I didn’t go for the rolebecauseof that,” I said quickly. It was a half lie. It had crossed my mind more than once. Those roles always got a shitload of sympathy and attention. But there was more to it. “I needed something different.”

“Don’t say a challenge,” Camillo warned.

I couldn’t keep lying. “Anything outside of my lived experience is some kind of challenge. But mostly, I wanted to be anyone in the world who was nothing like me.”

His face softened just a fraction. “You really think we’re so different?”

“Well. You’re more of a dick than I am.”

He stared for a second, then burst into laughter so hard it shook his whole body. No, wait. Shit. His whole body wasshaking.

“Fuck,” Camillo gasped, grabbing at his legs.

“Is this a seizure?”

He gave me a murderous look. “Have you ever seen a seizure?”

“No! Why is that a normal question to ask someone?” I all but shouted back.

Gritting his teeth, he tried to lean over his thighs and massage his shaking legs, but he couldn’t seem to reach that far. “It’s a spasm, dipshit.”

“Oh.Oh!” Without really thinking, I jumped up and fell to my knees beside him, reaching for his legs.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

I whipped my hands back and turned to face him. “Please let me help.”

Our gazes locked for a long, long moment. “If this ends up in an interview anywhere?—”

“I wouldn’t,” I told him. “Trust me. Of all people, youhaveto know I wouldn’t.”

He sat back with a heavy groan and waved his hands at his legs. “Massage the calves with a lot of pressure, okay? You’ll think it’s too much, but I promise you it isn’t.”

I sat high on my knees, but I couldn’t get a good grip on both at the same time. I had an idea, but I wasn’t sure if he would allow me to manhandle him if he wasn’t entirely comfortable with me touching him. “Can I flip you on the couch?”

He bit his lip, then finally nodded. “Don’t drop me, please.”

There wasn’t a chance in hell I would. I’d die first.

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