Page 42 of Royal Crush

“Are you hungry?”

“A little. I kind of abandoned my croissants when I saw you, and that was the first thing I was attempting to eat today.”

Rolling back, I leaned over in my chair. “Do you do that a lot? Is that a thing? Are they telling you to lose weight, because I will seriously have words with them if?—”

“No,” he said, laughing just a little. “I’ve gotten no notes on my weight. I have a nervous stomach, and when I’m anxious, it feels like I’ve eaten rocks.”

I grimaced as I spun, searching the cabinet for something I could give him. There were some prepackaged pains au chocolat, which weren’t the freshest, but they’d do. I tossed them on my lap, then grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the half-torn plastic package and headed back toward him.

“Probably not as nice as—what do they call it on set? The area with all the food?”

“Craft services,” he muttered as he took one of the pastries and tore open the wrapping. He shoved half into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed, and I was absolutely certain he hadn’t tasted any of it. He went back for the second half before taking the water and gulping down several mouthfuls.

Watching his throat move was mesmerizing. Lord, help me.

“So,” he said, and the tension in his voice broke my concentration like a whip crack. “Your safe space.”

Right. My safe space where no one was listening. I eyed the spot next to him, then decided fuck it. I deserved to get comfortable before I went into detail about Hugo the Destroyer—as Roget liked to call him.

Aleric shifted over when it became obvious I was going to take up space beside him, and he waited patiently as I shifted off my chair and got my legs tucked over each other. It always felt strange to sit like this.

It had taken me months in rehab to find the balance to hold myself without the most important part of my core working for me. And I didn’t think I’d ever get used to the sensation of sitting on top of half my body that I couldn’t feel.

Even when my lower half sparked with nerve pain, it was almost like it was disconnected from my limbs, like phantom body parts sending signals to my brain. My therapist used to have me sit in front of the mirror when I was having bad pain spells to force myself to see where it was coming from and examine myself as a whole instead of fractured pieces.

It helped a little back then.

Now, I gave it the occasional passing thought before sinking into my usual void of mental silence.

“Can I say something first?” Aleric asked.

“Nothing about me has ever stopped you before.”

He opened his mouth, then shut it for a breath. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful. I know I’m getting everything all wrong with you…”

“Aleric.”

“Mm.”

“Just ask what you want to ask.”

He shook his head. “I don’t have a question. I just want to say that you don’t need to tell me anything that makes you uncomfortable. If anyone gets what it’s like to have things in their past that hurts to talk about, it’s me. I won’t be offended if you can’t do this.”

I stared at him for a long moment, almost like I was trying to read his story off his skin. But like me, he managed to wear his heart on his sleeve while keeping the rest of him locked behind iron walls.

He made me feel like I could say Hugo’s name without wanting to choke on it.

“He was my date before I knew he was my stalker.” It was maybe an unfair cold open, but I had to dive in, or I’d lose the courage to talk about Hugo at all. Aleric sat back hard enough to make the sofa frame squeak, but he didn’t say a word. I took a breath and went on. “To this day, I don’t know how he foundme. I was pretty reclusive back then. But somehow, he knew I was doing volunteer work at a rehab center for kids with mobility disabilities, and he got a job doing housekeeping.”

“That’s where you officially met? I thought you said he worked for a magazine.”

“That was a lie. I didn’t want anyone knowing who he actually was,” I confessed.

“I get that. Thank you for telling me.”

I took another breath. “He told me he’d never met a wheelchair user before, but he was…he was socomfortablewith me. I didn’t feel strange or awkward. Or different.”

“I understand,” Aleric said quietly. He was staring at his hands now, but I could tell from his expression he was listening. Like, he wasreallylistening, in ways most people didn’t.

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