I had just enough energy to wash my face, comb my hair, then empty my bag before I heard the sounds of the doors opening. But if he was going to love me, he would have to see the reality of me. This would not be the last time I fell ill.
Pushing through the bathroom door, I made my way toward the lounge, and it was in the corridor that I saw him. I was expecting Carlo and half his entourage, but instead, my gaze landed on Aleric.
He really was still in makeup, and he was wearing the suit from the last scene I’d seen him shooting. His shoes made a soft clicking noise on the floor as he rushed toward me, and his knees hit the floor right before his hands pushed into my hair.
And then we were kissing.
He groaned into it softly, his entire body rolling me backward so hard I had to scramble for the brake. He skiddedforward on his knees, but that didn’t break his concentration. “Aleric,” I murmured against his lips. “Aleric. My darling.”
He shivered as he pulled back and cupped my face, looking right into my eyes. God, he’d been afraid. “I’m sorry. I’m—it…” He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry I called him. I needed to know for myself that you were okay.”
“I’m okay.” Pressing my hands over his, I stroked a touch over his knuckles and watched as, inch by inch, his tension began to leave him. “I’m okay. But get up off your knees. That can’t possibly be comfortable.”
He laughed, that soft little giggle I was growing addicted to, and braced himself on my thighs as he pushed to his feet. There was something so profound about the way he wasn’t shy about any of my body. How there was no hesitation ever when it came to touching me anywhere.
The ways he made me feel safe were innumerable and precious.
“What’s that look?” he asked.
I reached for his hand and kissed his palm. “Just happy you’re here. My brother didn’t try and come in with you, did he?”
“I told him you and I were going to be very loud. He went a little green at that.”
I burst into a hard laugh and rolled my eyes as I turned off the brake and led Aleric through the rooms. I could feel a rise in tension as we moved into the sitting room, and when I looked behind me, he’d stopped in the doorway.
“It’s huge.”
I bit my lip. “It is part of the palace. I didn’t design it.”
He glanced at the wall of portraits that I would have loved to remove. “Yeah. I can see that.”
My ears heated. “I know it’s a lot.”
“No. No.” His feet shuffled along the threadbare rug as he came toward me. “It’s just kind of a reminder of where I am…because of who you are.”
“Please don’t,” I begged. I couldn’t hear that. Not from him.
“It’s not going to scare me off,” he said when he’d reached my side. “But when it’s the two of us, it’s easy to forget.”
“So let’s do that now. Please. I’m so tired, and I just…I need you.” I had never said that to anyone. Not my brother, not my parents, not my friends. And the look on Aleric’s face reminded me why it was only him. His eyes softened, and he reached out, cupping my jaw.
“Lead the way. I really need a shower to get all this fucking makeup off, and I seem to recall you needing one too.”
I fought off a slightly hysterical giggle because was I really going to do this with him? Was I going to get totally naked and show off exactly what I looked like? He’d seen me—but not all of me. He didn’t know entirely the way my middle sagged, and he hadn’t seen the scars from pressure-sore surgeries. He hadn’t seen the lumps on my back from where the doctors had tried to fix me, and rarely did he get a glimpse of my legs—calves swollen into my ankles, all the way down to my toes.
“Hey,” Aleric said, staring. “If you don’t want?—”
“I want. It’s just…maybe not as pretty as you might imagine.”
“I haven’t imagined anything.” His thumb stroked over my skin before he pulled away. “But I can’t see myself not liking all of you.”
“It’s not sexy.”
Aleric rolled his eyes. “My sleep farts aren’t sexy, but they don’t change the way you feel about me, do they?”
I slapped a hand over my mouth to hold in a laugh. I hadn’t been expecting that. I thought he would get poetic about all bodies being sexy in their own way.
“And neither is the hair on my butthole that I refuse to wax.”