Page 36 of Yours to Break

It made me feel strange. Honestly, though, everything they did made me feel strange.

I had started looking forward to being dressed for the day. Being dressed—not getting dressed—involved me sitting on the ottoman inside the closet they’d deemed as mine, and them insisting that I was incapable of making decisions and putting on the clothes by myself. I had various outfits—most were nothing more than just shorts—that the brothers chose for me to wear. I was learning that Hudson apparently had a thing for socks. Seriously—thigh highs, crew-length, socks with toe beans on the soles. At least my feet were never cold.

I always wore the same collar—the one with their names engraved on the tag—but they liked to rotate between different ears, tails, mitts, and gags.

The gear… it made me feel safe, secure.

I hated that I liked it.

I hated that they could tell I liked it, even when I acted like I hated it.

I hated that they seemed to know me better than I knew myself.

I hated that sometimes I went into what the twins calledsubspaceand felt high and floaty and oh so fucking good.

I hated that I had started to do things specifically to hear their praises.

I hated that my mind kept downplaying the fact that they had literally kidnapped me, assaulted me, tortured and killed a man in front of me, and were currently holding me captive.

I hated that I loved being fucked by them.

I hated how my heart ached when they pet me.

But most of all, I hated myself. So, nothing new, I guess.

I spent the majority of the day in my puppy gear, except for when they removed my gag for meals. To the best of my knowledge, I hadn’t been left alone in the house yet. There was always at least one twin by my side. I wasn’t sure what that meant they were doing work-wise, but they thankfully hadn’t brought home another victim since that first day.

Speaking of work, I was informed on the third night that they werehandlingmy shop. They wouldn’t elaborate any further.

They’d texted Josh from my phone, pretending to be me when he became concerned about my sudden absence.

Josh was the only one who’d reached out.

That really made me think.

It had been almost two weeks since Hayes and Hudson took over my life.

No one wondered where I’d gone. No one cared.

I started to understand why Lane had fallen so quickly for Greyson. We were the ideal prey.

While watching the news or listening to a true crime podcast, I always used to wonder, “How did no one notice that she was gone?” or “Why did no one report them missing?”

Hi. It’s me. I understand now.

I understood completely, and I just wanted to gohome.

But what was there for me? An empty studio apartment; no pets and no loved ones. Myhomewas those late nights doing homework at my grandmother’s side. Myhomehad been six feet under for a while now. Myhomewas built the night my parents threw me out like a piece of trash, and myhomewas demolished the day my grandmother died.

So, really, I had no home waiting for me; I had no one and nothing. No one needed me, or relied upon me, orlovedme.

So, as much as I cried and begged and screamed for them to let me go, I didn’t actually have anywhere I wanted to go to. So, when day after day I reminded myself of this, and all I had to do was whimper to have one of the twins’ attention, I understood.

And I hated how damn tempting the thought of giving in was.

Predators will always go for wounded prey. My mistake was not realizing just how wounded I really was before they sank their teeth into my skin.

I thought I had my life together; a great job that paid the bills, an apartment I didn’t even have to pay rent on, a best friend, a safe transition, and an accepting community.

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